Behind Your Smile
by Dei Gratia 43
Summary: When Hermione returns to school for her last year she isn't expecting her life to change so much. She's destined to be with Ron, but then an unlikely boy notices her facade and a forbidden lust takes root. Sometimes you have to choose love over obligation
1. Crazy

**AN: I just wanted to take a moment out to thank my amazing beta Kaityb for not letting me get away with stupid mistakes and inconsistencies. Thank you! :D**

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_"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?"_ – Niels Bohr

Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was a hectic sight the first day of September upon my return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry aboard the Hogwarts Express. The steam from the magical engine closed in on all sides making it quite difficult to see very far ahead of one's face while saying goodbye to loved ones. I stood on the platform with my two best friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, along with Ron's sister and mother, attempting to finish the process before time ran out.

There were only seven minutes remaining to board the scarlet-colored train and locate an empty compartment. Molly Weasley, however, did not seem to be looking forward to releasing her youngest son from a bone-crushing embrace anytime soon. Harry and I eyed Ron with obvious amusement as he struggled against her grip with little-to-no prevail. We had already had to endure the show with Ginny just a minute before and if _she_ hadn't been able to break Mrs. Weasley's hold on her then there was no hope for Ron. The only positive part of the situation was that we had already piled our trunks safely away and no longer had to worry about lugging them around.

I glanced at the big, round clock that was situated right below a large sign reading the platform number. Five minutes to eleven and we _still_weren't even close to making our way towards to the train. For heaven's sake, the woman had gone through this process for over a decade and she still didn't have a handle on it? I loved her to death, but sometimes I figured Mrs. Weasley needed to get a firmer grasp on her emotions. Then again, a lot had happened during the last few years.

"We've got to go," I whispered to Harry impatiently as I cocked my head towards the clock. "We'll miss the train if she keeps at it."

"It _would _be nice to arrive at Hogwarts with everyone else for our last year," Harry said with a soft concurring smile.

"Heavens," Molly exclaimed all of a sudden, "What are you all sticking around for? The train will be leaving without you in just a few minutes."

All four of us rolled our eyes at her antics before we smiled affectionately and waved her off at last. Harry led the way towards a car at the back of the train, pushing his way through a crowd of families while looking over his shoulder every once in a while to make certain that we were keeping up. The door to the car was thrown open by Dean Thomas just as Harry reached for the handle.

"You really know how to cut things close don't you, Harry?" the boy smiled, shaking his head before taking a step back to allow us entrance.

Harry returned the smile with a shrug. "Old habits die hard, I guess."

Dean was just one of many returning students in our seventh year at Hogwarts. Ron, Harry and I had not finished our schooling because of our hunt for Lord Voldemort's horcruxes. Dean, on the other hand, had not finished because he had been on the run due to his blood status as a Muggle-born. Many others had actually attended the school last year while it was under the Death Eaters' control. Scores of those kids had decided to return again this year, however, and finish their schooling the proper way with their friends and an assured sense of security.

"This way," I said, pointing down the aisle towards an empty compartment. "Seems there's only one left."

The rest of the group followed after me, piling into the compartment and settling back in their seats for the long ride. Seamus Finnigan and Neville Longbottom entered and took seats on either side of Dean just as the Hogwarts Express stirred to life and chugged away from the platform. A moment later, I felt a hand slide into my own and looked up to smile at Ron -my boyfriend of roughly five months.

"Did you lot hear?" Seamus asked once everyone had gotten reacquainted.

"Hear about what?" Ron asked in return, looking up from an enthusiastic conversation with Harry and Ginny about Gryffindor's chances of winning the Quidditch Cup this year.

"About Diggory, of course!" Seamus exclaimed, as if the very fact that we didn't know was simply outrageous.

"Last I heard he was taking some time off before looking for a steady job with the Ministry," Harry said. "His mother was killed during one of Voldemort's raids in his hometown. Both Amos and Cedric were supposedly torn to shreds about it."

"For good reason, I'd wager," Ron said, shaking his head as he tightened his hold on my hand. "I heard it wasn't a pretty sight at all. She must have been tortured for hours."

"Ronald," I chided as I shot a quick glance at Neville. Though the boy had aged wonderfully and wisely, he still wasn't quite settled about the current state of his parents. Both Frank and Alice Longbottom had been tortured by Death Eaters until they were in a state of mind worse than death. Ron's complete ignorance of the fact astounded me.

"What?" he asked, a ridiculous scowl turning down the corners of his lips.

"Never mind," I replied shortly. I pulled my hand away from his and placed it on my lap. Why did I put myself through this? Was it so crazy of me to believe that I deserved to be with someone with at least a little maturity?

"Anyway," Seamus interrupted, clearly sensing the rising tension, "That's not what I meant. Haven't you heard about Diggory's new position at the school?"

"He's teaching?" Harry asked, a look of pleasant surprise lighting up his face. He had always been good friends with the kind, humble Hufflepuff who was two years older than us. The long-standing grudge that most Gryffindors held over the boy for beating our team at Quidditch in my third year was completely forgotten in Harry's eyes. Cedric would always be the one person that was there with him the night that Voldemort returned, back during the Triwizard Tournament. It was a bond that neither Ron nor I would ever be able to compete with.

"Not really teaching," Seamus said, shaking his head. "He's studying under Flitwick in Charms for the year as some sort of assistant. He'll be staying at Hogwarts with us."

"That sounds fantastic," I exclaimed with a smile, internally pondering a similar course of action at the end of my schooling this year. "He'll be able to learn so much."

"Yeah, it must be wonderful to spend your free time back at school when you don't really have to be there," Ron bit out sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

I sighed, turning my shoulder away from my boyfriend and looking out of the window at the rolling hills of the countryside as the train made its way closer and closer to Hogwarts. It felt good to be returning to the school after a year of absence. Sure it wouldn't be the same without our late headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, but the castle was repaired and its walls felt like home. Home was _exactly _what I needed right now.

The last few months had been hard on me. I didn't -and still don't- understand what is wrong. I can't seem to relax and be a kid again after having to be an adult since I was eleven. For the most part, it had been nice having my parents back again ever since I had found them in Australia and reversed the memory charm that I had placed on them. However, even _they_ couldn't seem to make my life feel less chaotic. Everything was just so crazy, and I was beginning to think that I wouldn't be able to take it anymore.

"Are you ready to head up front?" Ron asked, his voice breaking through my thoughts as I jerked out of a haze. Absently, I wondered how long I had been dozing off.

Realizing that he meant our Prefect and Head duties, I nodded. I placed a small smile on my lips and rose from my seat, pretending I didn't see Ron's hand reach out to take mine in the process. Together, we waved goodbye to our fellow Gryffindors and exited the compartment. The journey to the front car was a long, quiet walk. Ron seemed to want to say something to me, but the way I refused to catch his eye must have been somewhat discouraging. Oops.

"After you," he said as he surprisingly pulled open the door to the designated car for me when we reached it. I raised my eyes to meet his blazing blue ones and felt a pull in my gut. He really was sweet sometimes. Usually when it was just us, but that was all that mattered…Right?

"Thank you," I said quietly, managing a timid grin before grasping his hand hesitantly and pulling him inside after me.

The car was filled with Prefects from other houses when we arrived. The Prefects sat together while the two Heads spoke at the front. Since I had been given the Head Girl position for the year, I gave a brief wave to Ron before moving ahead to sit next to the Head Boy.

Surprisingly, that honor had not fallen to Draco Malfoy like I had first suspected. Actually, the position was to be held by his fellow housemate, Theodore Nott. Nott was exactly the type of boy that I would imagine Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil describing as tall, dark and handsome. He rivaled even Ron and Dean in height, had brilliant sea-green eyes, black hair and golden-tanned skin. All I knew about him was that he was considerably clever and had never seemed to fit into the Slytherin mold. His father was a Death Eater and was currently spending a life-sentence in Azkaban, yet Nott had never once called me a "Mudblood" or expressed the same beliefs as some of his friends about blood purity.

"Hello," I greeted him, my voice sounding more nervous than I had originally intended for it to while I glanced at the person whom I would have to work nonstop with over the course of the year. We would also be living together in the Heads' Common Room.

Nott looked up from where he had inattentively been staring at the floor and gazed at me square in the eyes. He seemed vaguely surprised that I had spoken to him directly.

"Hi," he muttered, his face giving off no emotion as his eyes narrowed and he seemed to scrutinize me.

This was going to be a long meeting.

* * *

Entering the Great Hall of the Hogwarts castle was like stepping into a realm different from anything you could have ever dreamed of. The experience was never anything short of bewitching and I had always felt that no matter how magical the Wizarding World was, Hogwart's Great Hall took the cake.

As I strode across the back of the large room next to Ron -Harry and Ginny in tow- I glanced up past the floating candles and observed the ceiling with a flutter in my stomach. The sky could be seen across the spans of the miraculous ceiling, clear with a large half-moon. Turning my gaze to my fellow classmates, I glanced over the Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables as we made our way over to the table furthest to the right.

Everyone had just settled in when my sleeve was tugged by Ginny, who sat to my left. Turning away from my previous observations, I glanced at the redhead with a raised brow. "Yes?"

"Look," Ginny said, stretching her back in an attempt to see over the people around us. "It's Cedric."

Interested, I copied Ginny's demeanor and struggled with my slight frame to catch a glimpse of the boy. He was standing with his old housemates over by the Hufflepuff table just to the left of Gryffindor's, but he was all the way at the back of the room whereas my friends and I had situated ourselves closer to the front.

"Cedric!" Harry called out causing both Ginny and myself to jump unexpectedly and rather clumsily knock into the people sitting next to us.

The boy in question immediately looked up from his location and smiled. Ginny and I exchanged a meaningful glance before erupting into silent laughter. He had not changed at all since his years at Hogwarts. He towered over Harry as he made his way down the aisle between the two tables and clasped hands with the younger boy in greeting. I felt my stomach flutter for the second time that evening as I awkwardly stared at him.

Cedric Diggory was extremely handsome. His sandy brown hair fell into his gray eyes as he smiled roguishly. His lips turned up making the action seem impossibly sexier. The really appealing aspect of Cedric, however, was his humility. He _honestly_ didn't realize that a mere glance into his beautiful eyes could have a girl swooning for days to come.

"All right, Harry?" Cedric asked as he looked Harry up and down in appraisal.

"All right," Harry said jovially. "I've got Sirius' old place now that I'm of age. Ron and Hermione are going to be living with me after we finish our last year here; though, I hope I'm not making a mistake by allowing them to share a room."

Right on cue I flushed scarlet at the insinuation, wishing Harry's sense of humor was slightly more downplayed. Every eye seemed to turn to me and Ron, who was sitting to my right; laughing.

"We know the proper charms, don't you worry," Ron said, smiling teasingly and wrapping an arm around my back.

I knew that he was joking and yet the fact that Harry even uttered a word about us having a sexual relationship seemed to make the truth seem scandalous. Sure, we'd had sex. That didn't mean, however, that I was ready for the world to know it. I had made Ron swear that Harry, or anyone else for that matter, would not hear a word about it.

"You okay?" Ron asked suddenly, looking down at me and gently squeezing me closer to him.

"Fine," I replied with a smile in an attempt to prove that I understood the joke and found it just as funny as anyone else.

"Okay," he said, kissing my temple before leaning across the table to continue the conversation that Cedric's arrival had interrupted between him and Dean about the differences between Muggle football and Wizarding quidditch. It was the same argument that I had been listening to since first year.

Just when I had released a long sigh and was resting my face on my palm while waiting for Professor McGonagall to make the start of term announcements, a chill ran up my spine. A slight shiver escaped me as I spun around in my seat only to find myself looking directly into the gray pools of Cedric Diggory's eyes.

I froze in shock at finding him staring at me so intently with a look of impatient calculation evident on his face. Unsure of what to make of the situation, I spun back around and tried desperately to get the enrapturing image of his eyes and the pleasant feel of his gaze out of my mind.

When Professor McGonagall finally began her speech, every student in the Great Hall turned to watch. The old woman was certainly no Albus Dumbledore, but the respect each of us held for her was immense. I had almost completely pushed a particular ex-Hufflepuff from my thoughts when I felt the same shiver once more. I didn't even have look to know that the gaze was coming from a few chairs down from McGonagall at the Head Table. From the chair where Cedric sat, situated right between Professor Flitwick and Hagrid.

* * *

The start of term feast had just come to an end when I dismissed myself from Ron and the others claiming that the Heads' Common Room wasn't even close to Gryffindor Tower…Which was partially true. Too sleepy from the immense amount of food they had consumed, the boys all slugged their way up the Marble Staircase with Ginny waving merrily to me as she brought up the rear.

As soon as I saw the edge of Ginny's robes disappear from sight altogether, I steered myself down the staircase to my right and towards the Kitchens. As I had suspected, many Hufflepuffs were taking the same route. I had known that the Hufflepuff Common Room was near the Kitchens ever since Harry had first come into possession of the Marauder's Map.

It had occurred to me -multiple times since I had grown tired of Cedric's stares during the feast and had made my split-second decision to find him after dinner- that I was most likely losing my mind. Whatever feeling I had gotten from him those few moments back in the Great Hall had to have been all in my head. I guess one could say that the know-it-all in me needed answers…Not that I really knew what I was answering by tracking the boy down. Was he considered a boy still? And he wasn't even a Hufflepuff anymore. What were the chances of him wandering off towards his old common room?

"Can we help you find something?"

My head snapped quickly to the left in reaction to the sudden intrusion into my thoughts. Had my first impulse been anything else but to look toward the owner of the voice I would have run. As it were, I found myself glued to the spot and staring at my fellow seventh year, Ernie Macmillan, and the very person whom I was both interested and frightened to see.

"What?" I sputtered idiotically, cursing myself at how small my voice sounded. I'm not really used to feeling so pathetic…Well, at least not when I wasn't thinking about my relationship with Ron and its inevitable doom.

Ernie smiled slightly and eyed me curiously. "Are you looking for something, Hermione?"

My face seemed to heat up as I desperately tried to seem calm and collected all while looking everywhere but at Cedric. "Well, actually I-"

"Excuse me," Cedric interrupted suddenly. "But, it's a good thing we stumbled across you, Hermione. Professor McGonagall mentioned needing to speak with you before you tucked in for the night. I only just remembered. Anyone ever tell you that your timing is impeccable?"

My mouth opened for a second as if I was actually going to answer him, before closing quickly when no witty response came to mind. All I could do was nod wordlessly while internally praying that tonight would only turn out to be a nightmare. As if _Cedric Diggory _could actually cause shivers to run up _my _spine. I wasn't some giggling dunderhead like some of the other girls in my year. I actually like to think I have somewhat of a brain.

"I'll escort you to her office, if you don't mind," he continued when I remained silent. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ernie?"

"Sure thing, mate," Ernie murmured, patting Cedric once on the back and waving to me before he turned to walk down the corridor and out of sight.

For a second I was happy that the only witness to this encounter was now gone. Then I remembered how stupid this whole situation really was. I was now alone, with no one around, talking to a person of the opposite sex who was not my boyfriend. And who had an increasingly annoying tendency to make me nervous, even though we barely knew each other and hadn't been in the same vicinity for more than a couple of minutes for years.

"Granger?" Cedric said with a questioning lilt to his voice.

"You were staring at me," I accused out of nowhere, causing my eyes to widen in shock. Now that the statement was out, however, I was on a roll. "It's just plain rude, to be frank, and I don't appreciate it at all. How would you like it if you were trying to pay respect to someone of high standing and listen to what they had to say and all of a sudden your attention was tossed aside because of this creepy feeling that you were being watched? Let me tell you, it's highly uncomfortable. I couldn't remember a word of Professor McGonagall's speech after it and-"

"Granger," Cedric said; effectively cutting off the rest of my rant.

"What?"

"You're turning bright red and I really feel that you're in need of some oxygen. Was that all in one breath? Congratulations, I think you've just made history."

He was smiling at me. I had been telling him to get lost and either stare at some other half-wit or keep his eyes to himself. Yet here he was smiling an unbelievably dazzling smile as if someone had just announced that the world would from here-on-out live in peace with a blissful amount of rainbows and butterflies.

"And she is silent. Ladies and gentlemen, miracles _do _happen," he laughed, leaning his head down to look me directly in the eyes. He really was quite tall; at least in contrast my own dismal height. For a second I wondered who was taller. Cedric or Ron.

"Are you mocking me?" I asked, fuming with rage at the very thought.

"You're very angry with me," he observed. His gray eyes sparkled in amusement at my expense. "You came down here to find me and give me a firm talking to, but you're upset that I'm teasing you a bit?"

"I don't have time for this. I'm tired, my life's a wreck, and I just want to eat without feeling chills."

"I'm sorry, I'll be sure to watch where my eyes land tomorrow. I promise."

"That's all I ask," I responded, half in relief and half in frustration, before spinning away in order to make a hasty retreat. I didn't get very far.

"Can I ask you something, Granger?"

I spun around again, having barely gotten a meter away. "No."

"Please?"

"What?"

"Why aren't you happy anymore?"

I paused, surprised.

"You…You don't have that light about you that you used to have."

"What 'light'?"

Cedric scratched his head before shaking it. "Never mind. Forget I said anything. Sweet dreams, Granger."

He didn't even give me a second to respond before he spun around and quickly disappeared down the corridor toward the kitchens. I bit my lower lip as I tried to forget that last expression on his face. It held that same air of calculation in his brow that he had in the Great Hall when I had caught him staring.

My body seemed to droop with the weight of my exhaustion as I frowned and turned towards the stairs to head up to my new common room. I didn't need Cedric Diggory to add to my increasing list of problems. Ron was providing more than his fair share. Him and our annoying "destiny" together. Was it crazy to actually think there was more to my life than being a Weasley's wife -barefoot and pregnant? Or was I destined be loved, secured…And unhappy?

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**AN: Read and review! Tell me how you feel about the way the story seems to be going or tell me what you would eventually like to see happen. I'd love to hear your feedback!**


	2. Lost

"_Not all who wander are lost._" -J. R. R. Tolkien

The morning after my brief -yet extremely frustrating- conversation with one Cedric Diggory, I awoke to the feeling that my life had somehow changed without my knowing it during the brief hours that I had slept. The feeling was incredibly odd, but I couldn't seem to shake it as I rolled onto my back and stared up at the off-white ceiling of my new bedroom. The various burgundy covers of my four-poster bed, which had last night been snuggling me into their warmth and keeping me safe from the crisp Scottish night, were now twisted at the far end of the mattress.

My usual tradition of waking up at the crack of dawn on the first day of classes had been completely tossed aside when my brain kicked on. I was suddenly bombarded with question after question and emotion after emotion. Fear, anxiety and misery struck me with the force of a wrecking ball only to be shortly followed by a dull pain in my gut as my stomach began to knot.

It was already eight o'clock in the morning by the time I was able to rush out of my room and into the Heads' Common Room following a short battle with my curls to get them to fall even a tad bit smoothly over my shoulders. You would think as I matured, so would the frizzy mass that sat upon my head. Unfortunately, it continued to take on a mind of its own. A mind of its own that seemed to share the same brain waves as a frightfully petulant two-year-old.

Too engrossed in feeling sorry for myself in more ways than one, I didn't realize the other presence in the room until I tripped over the bag where he kept his numerous school books and supplies. The bag must have weighed the same as an adult buffalo and a quiet chuckle came from the owner at my expense. I winced as I took a surprised step backwards in an effort to relocate my balance, which only resulted in my slamming a hip into the corner of a nightstand holding an ancient looking vase, causing the said decoration to tilt and fall.

"_Accio vase_," a deep, barely-recognizable-in-my-state-of-shock voice said.

The object didn't dare to disobey the commanding tone of Nott's charm. It instantly veered off its short course to the floor and instead flew towards his awaiting hands. Nott tucked his wand into his robes and calmly walked over to put the vase back onto its rightful place. In my embarrassment it took me a moment to look up. I knew my cheeks were bright red, but I forced myself to meet his gaze and ignore the harsh bruising that was undoubtedly happening on my hip.

"Thank you," I said. I was sincerely happy that I hadn't smashed one of Hogwarts' precious artifacts on my first official day as Head Girl.

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have thrown my bag there for someone to trip over," Nott shrugged, waving off my gratitude. "It won't happen again. I promise."

We stood silently for a full minute. Neither of us really knew what else to say. We would have to break the ice between us soon though and we both knew it. After all, as Heads we would be working together and living together every day until commencement. The return of my more woeful train of thoughts about myself, however, was not helping.

"Were you going to head down for breakfast?" Nott asked unexpectedly, causing my head to jerk to the side so I could look at him rather than out the huge bay window to my right that overlooked the grounds outside.

"Yes, I am," I answered, unable to hide my initial shock at his question. "I was actually in a bit of a rush to get down there. I'm running late."

"I can see that," he nodded with a tiny smile turning up the corners of his mouth. "Hence your graceful entrance."

I blushed as a smile of my own spread across my lips, half in relief at finding a topic to discuss with him and half in an unconscious response to the contagious warmth that he exerted in that simple tilt of his mouth. "Do me a favor and forget that ever happened, Nott."

"Theo."

"Excuse me?"

He seemed to blanch for a moment before scratching the back of his head and shifting from foot to foot. "You called me by my last name. I prefer being called by my first name, and since Theodore sounds-"

"Like some dull dead guy?"

"Exactly," he laughed. "And because of that I prefer Theo. Plus, I figure that we'll be working with each other all year and should probably just screw the whole getting to know each other phase and start off as-"

"Friends?" I asked; once again finishing his train of thought.

"Yeah."

It actually did sound logical. And up until that moment I hadn't realized that my relationship with the Head Boy had been unconsciously weighing on my mind. This conversation could have either made my life easier or more miserable than it already was. Now I felt more assured. It was the first perk of the day. I _actually _felt like I might be able to handle living with a Slytherin, working with a Slytherin, and there was a _slight_ possibility that I could handle being friends with one.

"Sounds great, _Theo_."

"Excellent, _Hermione_," he returned before jerking his head toward the portrait hole. "Do you want to walk down to the Great Hall?"

"Sure, just let me grab my books first," I said before heading back to where I had dropped them the night before.

The walk from our common room to breakfast was relatively short. We only needed to go down one flight of stairs and duck around a few corners. Still not sure what public protocol between us was, both Theo and I busied ourselves with looking straight-ahead and once in a while smiling at a passerby who we knew. When we reached the large chamber he graciously opened the oversized door and ushered me in ahead of him; ever the gentleman.

We were both arriving downstairs a decent bit later than most of the other students, so it seemed that we had a larger audience than normal as we walked in. Theo leaned in closer to me in order to say goodbye over the noise of the room, before turning to join his friends at the Slytherin table while I continued on to the Gryffindor one. Ron and Harry were already seated along with the others of our year.

"Morning," I said as the two boys slid opposite ways from each other on the bench to make room for me to sit in-between them.

"Why did you walk down with Nott?" Ron immediately wanted to know, a frown turning down the corners of his lips while his eyes flashed with annoyance and a not-so-slight amount of jealousy.

"We _live_ together, Ron," I said shrewdly. "Why shouldn't we walk down to breakfast together?"

"Why are you down here so late then?" he accused. His pettiness frustrated me to a point where I simply had to bite my lower lip and count to ten. I hated when his voice took on that tone; that _possessive_ tone. As if I were merely an object up for grabs instead of the woman who he swore he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

"I slept late," I gritted out, eyes narrowing at him as Harry's loud sigh came from my right. He was used to this between us sadly enough.

Harry had gotten lucky with Ginny. It seemed the Weasley temper had skipped over the youngest of the clan. Well, at least the _irrational_ temper had. She still was quite a sight to see when angry. Her Bat-Bogey Hex was enough to make even the darkest of wizards quake in their boots and fear anything that made sudden movements.

"You never sleep late," Ron accused once more.

"I guess there's a first time for everything," I spat. "And if you have a problem with that, then leave."

I felt a wave of disgust rise up within my stomach as I continued to stare down Ron. Part of the disgust was with his attitude, while the other part was more internal. How could I let this happen? I had somehow allowed myself to get swept up into an endless relationship with someone whom I would fight with forever. Someone who had jealousy issues along with a common tendency to exaggerate a situation, which only made the aforementioned personality flaw even worse.

Unable to handle his gaze a moment longer, I looked away. My eyes wandered over the sea of students around us noticing for the first time how much smaller the Great Hall seemed compared to past years, due to the extra students. Now there was seven years worth of students plus the returning ones. So, the school was now hosting more kids than ever before. Isn't it funny how people think they're so crucial to the world, when really they're only a single face in a crowd? My problems didn't concern anyone except me; yet, it felt like one decision on my part changed everything. The school. The world. The universe.

It was a highly egotistical philosophy.

My gaze swept across the ceiling, taking in the beautiful cloudless day that awaited me at the end of my classes. I was just casting a quick glance at my old professors when my eyes fell on him. Cedric. He had his head turned to the right and was deeply engrossed in a conversation with Professor Flitwick.

Not able to help myself, I stared, taking in his tousled hair and smooth complexion. His skin was slightly tanned and his lips were lightly flushed. His hair was just long enough for one to run their hand through, but too short to really hinder his eyesight. His nose was flattering to his face, yet had a faint bump on its bridge which I couldn't help but notice from this angle. As if he'd broken it at one time or another.

Without warning, his head jerked sideways as I continued to observe him. His eyes seemed to immediately land on mine as he looked out over the four long tables. A mischievous smile spread across his face causing a lump to rise in my throat at being caught. Something about his expression made me feel as if he was feeling particularly smug. As if he knew I hadn't been able to resist looking at him, even though I had gone off on him just last night for not being able to resist looking at me.

I felt blood rush to my cheeks as we continued to lock eyes. I knew I should look away, because it was highly inappropriate to share such an extended glance with another man while my boyfriend sat just at my side. I couldn't bring myself to, though. His stare was intense, causing my body to shiver and erupt with gooseflesh.

"I'm sorry."

I jumped and broke my eye contact with Cedric, turning my head to the left towards the voice. "What?"

"I trust you," Ron said, sounding more like he was being forced into the apology than actually meaning it. "I'm sorry."

I half expected that I had been too absorbed in Cedric to notice Ginny kicking her brother under the table or something of the sort. Ron usually had to be coaxed into such things.

"Okay," I said because it was expected. How many more times would I have to push the things that he did to upset me to the side? Every time I said it was okay it felt like I was digging myself into a deeper hole than I was already stuck in.

Harry purposely distracted the table for the rest of breakfast, taking the attention away from my lover's quarrel. When McGonagall handed us all our timetables, we stood to head out to our first classes. As we walked out of the Great Hall I glanced once more at the High Table. Cedric's gaze was in my direction, but not directly on me this time. No, he seemed more focused on the place in-between Ron and I as we walked; where our hands were joined.

* * *

It felt like forever before my two morning classes finally ended. Both Ron and Harry hadn't opted to take the History of Magic N.E.W.T. level course, leaving me alone and bored. Professor Binns, to his credit, wasn't any more dreary than usual, yet I just couldn't bring myself to focus on goblin rebellions. My mind was on the awkward feel of Ron's hand in mine earlier. Had it always felt like that? Hadn't there been a time where I had cherished how we fit together in that cute, innocent way?

It hadn't been any better in Potions with Slughorn. Harry and Ron _were _in that class, but my mind couldn't latch onto anything that was happening. I wished that Ginny wasn't just as interested in becoming an Auror as the boys were. If she hadn't taken the course Harry would have sat with Ron and I could have sat with someone less likely to cause my head to explode.

As it were, I spent the entire class telling Ron I felt fine and was no longer mad at him; which was technically true. I just felt weird around him. Maybe it was the fact that the future was getting closer and closer now. We had always talked about marrying right out of school. It was what we both had wanted. Yet, I wasn't sure I could handle that anymore. What had changed? Me or us?

"I'm going to go to the library," I whispered into Ron's ear as he ate his lunch.

"I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away too long," he smiled, kissing my cheek before turning back to his food.

My heart clenched as I rose quickly from the bench and left the Great Hall. Why did he have to do that? Act like he knew everything about me and was the sweetest boy around? If he was going to be sweet, then why did _also _have to be a jealous, immature git? True, it was common knowledge that I loved the library, but still…

It took five minutes for me to get from the ground floor to the fourth floor where the library was. The moment I walked inside I felt slightly more at ease. The scent of old books and dust closed in on me, making me smile as I headed to the table under my favorite stained glass window. It was the same table that I had been using since first year when studying alone. No other students used it that I was aware of.

However, it wasn't empty when I reached it. My heart leapt into my throat and I stopped where I was, too surprised to do anything right away. His head was down, but I automatically knew it was Cedric. His eyes were staring intently at the book on the table and moving from side to side as he read on.

Gathering my wits I quickly tried to make a hasty retreat, only to come face to face with a bookshelf that I didn't remember being there a moment prior. A gasp escaped my mouth as a flash of pain shot from my forehead after running headlong into the offending structure.

"Granger?" Cedric asked after finally noticing my presence. Well, how could he ignore it now? Today was not my day. First I had tripped over Theo's bag this morning, and now I faced a potential concussion in front of Cedric Diggory. Fantastic! Kill me now, please.

I placed a hand on my forehead in an attempt to dull the ache and spun around to face him with a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry. I was trying not to bother you."

"Are you alright?" he asked, standing up from his chair and moving towards me with a look of concern.

I felt myself grow warm just being near him. And he was getting closer and closer. Would I faint if he came too close? It couldn't be healthy to be this hot. If I blushed too much would my temperature get too high? That's technically a fever, right? People die from fevers all the time.

"I'm fine!" I squeaked before mentally kicking myself. Did I just squeak? I took a step back from him and held out my arm. He didn't get the message, though. He just kept coming nearer, making me feel out of breath.

My back hit the bookshelf that I had ran into before, forcing me to stop my retreat. My heart was pounding loud in my ears as I looked up at him. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at me, his lips parted just slightly.

"Stop trying to run for a second," he teased, stopping only when he was a foot away from me. His hand reached out and grasped my wrist and gently pulled it away from my forehead so that he could see the damage that I had done. "It's really red, must've been a good knock. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I promise, and if I feel dizzy later I'll see Madame Pomfrey," I said while trying to sound calm even though my blood was boiling at his touch, and in a very good way.

He smiled. "That's what I like to hear."

He really was tall. I had to tilt my head almost all of the way backwards just to meet his eyes; similar to what I had to do with Ron. The hand that he wasn't holding captive itched to run through his disheveled hair. My eyes widened as I finally allowed myself to see the problem. I was highly attracted to him. Sure, he had always been handsome to me. Yet, now it felt like he had some sort of intoxicating lure about him. He even _smelled _delicious.

For a second I imagined myself pulling him down by the front of his robes and kissing him. Would he be surprised and push me away, or would he return it with equal fervor? Then, suddenly, Ron's face jumped into my mind; us walking together and holding hands, us promising to spend forever with each other, and us laughing and chatting as best friends. What had happened to that? That time in my life when I had so easily spent time with him? We had been best friends. Now we were more. Had that ruined us? At first it had been a rush of excitement and emotions at the idea of deeply exploring one of the people I've held closest to my heart for years. Had it, in fact, been more curiosity than anything else? Had we ruined our friendship forever?

It was like stepping into an ice cold bath. My eyes widened and guilt filled me for thinking of anyone other than my boyfriend in a romantic way. How could I?

"Hermione?"

"Sorry," I said, shaking my head and slipping past him. I needed to put some space in-between us.

"I thought I had lost you for a moment," Cedric said. He was still smiling as he turned around and crossed his arms over his chest. "Thinking about something?"

"Yes."

"Of what?"

"That's none of your business," I stated matter-of-factly, placing my hands on my hips.

He held his hands up in a sign of truce, bringing the both of us into silence.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked after a little while, fidgeting slightly.

"Sure, but I can't guarantee an answer," he responded as he took a step closer to me.

"Fair enough," I nodded. "Well, yesterday you said that I looked upset. Why?"

"I said that you didn't look happy anymore," he corrected. "There's a difference."

"There's no difference between unhappy and upset."

"Yes there is. Upset is sort of a disturbance of order, while saying someone isn't happy is saying they are sad and no longer as cheerful as they once were."

"They're exactly the same!"

"You're getting flustered, Granger," he smirked playfully.

"I'm getting angry," I snapped back.

"I suppose you're going to say that they're the same?"

"Do you _like_ annoying me?" I scowled, biting my lip.

"No," he said and took yet another step closer to me and winked. "I just like seeing you all riled up."

Oh Merlin, he was blatantly flirting with me. Didn't he have any idea what he was doing? I mean, didn't he realize that he had no right to say any such thing to me?

"Anyway," I said, my voice coming out slightly panicked. "Why did you say that I wasn't happy?"

He shrugged. "Because you're not. You used to have this certain grace; a way you carried yourself, I guess. I always thought of it as a light you had to your presence. Now, I don't see it as much. I noticed that right away last night. Something's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong," I told him, frowning. "You're just too nosy."

"Hey now," he chuckled. "You're the one who asked. I'm just telling you what I think."

"You have no right to think anything about me," I said, upset that not only did I want him to think about me, but I also didn't think I could help thinking about him.

"I think I do," he said, his expression turning serious as he bent his head so he captured my gaze. His eyes looked so enrapturing, like a storm.

"I have a boyfriend."

"You don't care about him like you used to."

"I love him."

"How come you sound like you're trying to convince not only me, but yourself?"

"Stop it!" I hissed, unable to put up with any more. I hated this. I hated that he was right. How could this have happened? What had happened to land me in this spot? "Leave me alone."

"I can't do that," he whispered, moving through the already slim amount of space between us until he was directly in front of me. His hand, calloused from years of quidditch, came up to cup my cheek. I urged myself to back away or to slap him for having the nerve.

But, I couldn't.

It was like a bolt of electricity had shot through my body when he touched me. It wasn't the concern-ridden touch that had happened when he was looking at my forehead. It was something else. Something more intimate. I wanted him to kiss me.

"Why?" I whispered back to him.

"I don't know," he said, his eyebrows pulling together in confusion as he stared at me with an odd look in his eyes.

His answer scared me. Yet, I understood what he meant to some degree. I didn't know how to explain my attraction to him either. Actually, I didn't really _want _to know anything about it. What I really wanted was to stop feeling so tempted by him. And to start feeling tempted by Ron again.

Cedric leaned down and closed the distance between our lips. I licked mine and let my eyes flutter closed, knowing he was going to kiss me and not quite caring. In that moment it seemed inevitable. However, when his lips didn't land on mine, but on my forehead, my body froze.

When I allowed myself to open my eyes he was gone and so was the book that he had been reading when I arrived. But, I knew I wouldn't get away that easily. It was like breaking through a cloud of fog only to realize that you had just taken a jump off of a high cliff and all there was left to do was fall.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for reading! And thank you to those of you who reviewed. I love hearing from you. A massive amount of gratitude goes out to my beta, kaityb, for taking the time out to help me revise this chapter. You're brilliant! Be sure to review everyone! Questions and comments are all welcome.**


	3. Friend

"_Friendship is like a prism through which the many variations of beauty are revealed in our lives._" –Anonymous

It was the eighteenth of September and only seven hours separated me from the closing of another chapter in my life. What really was getting to me, though, was that no one, other than me, seemed to care. Harry and even _Ron_ had failed to mention the impending event. No, the day had gone on as if nothing particularly exciting was about to happen. They hadn't remembered. Or, maybe that was just being pessimistic? Maybe they planned to surprise me on the actual day.

Right.

"Did you know that tomorrow is my birthday?" I said suddenly, causing Theo to glance up from the schoolwork he had been diligently going over for the last forty-five minutes. When it had become blatantly obvious that neither my best friend nor my boyfriend had the fainted idea what was special about tomorrow, I had returned to the common room and sat on the floor across the coffee table from Theo to follow his example and write a Defense Against the Dark Arts essay that was due in two weeks. We hadn't said a word to each other since, until now.

"Really?" he said, setting aside his quill and giving me his unwavering attention, "How old are you going to be?"

I loved that about him. He always seemed to put his all into our conversations. We hadn't known each other for very long, but he never acted like it. Our relationship was really easy to just mold into, like the sand on a beach. No matter how the grains fell before you decided to sit down, they always configured into the perfect shape to fit you.

"Eighteen," I answered as I leaned back against the base of the couch, dropping my head back to rest on the seat of it.

"Do you have anything special planned?"

A bittersweet smile made its way across my lips as I glanced up at the ceiling, "You're the only one who even knows about it."

"You're kidding," he said, his voice laced with disapproval at the thought, "What about Potter and Weasley?"

"They didn't remember," I sighed, picking my head up and glancing at him, "It just figures. I mean, birthdays when you're older are never as fantastic as they were when you were younger, you know? But I've always thought I'd never have to worry about it not being celebrated at all."

"Maybe they just want whatever they have planned to be a surprise," he said, resting his head on his fist as he propped his elbow against the coffee table and leaned toward me.

I shook my head, "That's just wishful thinking. No, they forgot. If I was younger, and had been at home for today and tomorrow, my parents would have been going nuts. They always thought everything about birthdays was so wonderful. The celebration and the meaning behind the day. My mother used to wake me up at 3:03 every morning on my birthday, because it was the exact time of my birth. She thought it was so important for me to be awake to cherish that moment, like she always told me she did. It was really nice, thinking back on it. When I was a kid I don't really feel I appreciated it as much as I do now, you know? I mean . . ."

I stopped talking, suddenly flustered at how much I had just given away to him. We had always talked, but never like this. Never so personal. Our conversations were usually school-related or having to do with our Head duties. I had just broken that comfortable arrangement, and I had done so spectacularly. I mean, going on a rampage explaining to Theo -because my disappointment in my friends for forgetting was overpowering- a meaningful tradition that I had always shared with my mother? Please, just please tell me I would become a deaf-mute all of a sudden. I couldn't handle the mortification.

It turned out that I didn't need to have an extreme alteration to my ears and tongue anytime soon. Theo smiled kindly at me, before launching into a tale about his parents and him during his own birthdays -which was in August so he had already turned eighteen. He told me how every morning of his birthday he'd get up to the smell of the most magnificent breakfast that he'd ever seen. How his father was a big fan of getting him multiple presents and giving them to him throughout the day. His mother always made sure that the first gift was always the best. When I asked him about this, he said that it was because she didn't want him to be disappointed in any of the presents. By giving the best first he would always have that to look back on if he ever got a present he didn't love, which never happened.

It was funny hearing the story, what with his father being a Death Eater. I mean, he was currently in Azkaban on a life-sentence. Thinking of him as an actual father with such precious memories, was weird. But, I realized maybe the man was guilty of nothing but joining the wrong side when the going got tough. Wasn't it easier to be evil than to be good? And I was kind of touched at how Theo had acknowledged how embarrassed I was for offering up a piece of my past to him so unexpectedly, and that he, in return, deemed me worthy of receiving a piece of his.

We parted ways with a smile and wave after about another hour and a half of alternating between small talk and schoolwork. I walked into my room and immediately collapsed, exhausted, onto my bed. I wasn't sure when I had finally fallen asleep, but suddenly I felt myself being shaken from it by the sound of my door opening and closing. My mind was still groggy, yet when I heard my name being whispered I immediately bolted into a sitting position while barely managing to stay on my bed. Thankfully, I knew the voice.

"Theo?"

"Hey," he said, and I could barely make out his form in the darkness of the room. I could, however, tell he was smiling, "Happy birthday, Hermione."

"What?" I asked, confused, before running a hand through my hair and cringing at the knotted mess that it had become during my sleep.

"It's three minutes after three," Theo said, his voice rugged as if he had only just woken up himself, "You're officially eighteen." My mouth fell open, but nothing came out. It was really sweet of him. So sweet, in fact, that I had to bite my lip to withhold tears as I thought back to other mornings like this one. "Sorry to wake you up," he continued, "I just figured it was important that you cherished the moment. I didn't want you to think that you were that easily forgotten. You're not."

Words couldn't describe how happy I was in that second. It didn't matter that Theo wasn't someone who I had been friends with for that long now. All that did matter was that from then on it would change. There was an understanding between us that I would hold close.

* * *

The rest of September seemed to pass in a blur. One minute I was staring teary-eyed at the spot where an extremely caring man had previously been standing after making my insides turn to mush way too early in the morning, and the next I was sitting next to Ron out by the lake the last Friday of the month, watching the sunset. So much had changed and I just wanted to throw my hands out and pause it all. Everything had warped into a mess that I just didn't know how to fix. You couldn't find a book that explained what to do to solve a problem like the one I was facing. Well, I guess you could if you counted _Witch Weekly _as a book, but that was in no way a reliable source.

What do you do when you start feeling an inexplicably bewitching attraction toward a person whom you hadn't really thought of as more than a friend of a friend ever before? And what happens when you have a boyfriend already to top things off? A boyfriend who, despite being a complete dunderhead more than half of his life, also happened to be sweet and loyal. Who was worthy of a lot more than a girlfriend who dreamt of being with someone else every single night.

A soft sigh escaped through my lips as I leaned back against the trunk of a tree that sat on the shores of the lake, facing the sun. Hearing the physical evidence of my internal exasperation, Ron tilted his head to look down at me and raised his eyebrows questioningly. Our hands were entwined on my lap as we sat shoulder to shoulder. Funny how instead of being intimate the contact just made me feel empty.

"I'm fine," I whispered automatically, flashing a quick smile while trying to withstand the shame that I was drowning in.

It was horrible. Here I was, sitting with Ron, all while thinking about Cedric. We were having a romantic moment together -and Merlin knew those came few and far between- and I was not even mentally in the moment. No, I was too caught up in stormy-gray eyes, kissable pink lips and tousled hair. I wanted to hit myself for not feeling the same emotions that I used to feel around him. Ron was my first everything. He was who I was _meant_ to be with.

"I miss this," he said after a moment, leaning down and kissing the top of my head. My eyes shut instantly in an effort to stop the pain that made me want to scream at the top of my lungs. I didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve me. I was so far beneath him that it made my eyes sting in their sockets as I forced down all emotions. The really sad part was that this wasn't even half of the grief that I was going to feel eventually. I would never be the person he wanted me to be. Was feeling nothing around Ron better than only feeling remorseful? Maybe it was better to shut myself off.

"I do too," I replied, leaning my head against his shoulder as I watched the sun gradually fad into the horizon, hitting the surface of the lake in an awe-inspiring wave of yellows, reds and pinks.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

I jumped as the voice penetrated my concentration, causing me to hastily look up from the text that I had been reading, thus losing my place. I glowered at Theo, showing my annoyance, before quickly running my finger along the lines until I found the one that I had left off on. Once I had it marked, I looked back up into his sea-green gaze.

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" I asked in return, tilting my head and fixing him with a glare.

"It _looks_ like you're sitting around the common room doing nothing of importance on a Saturday night," Theo said, his grin nothing short of mischievous and his tone teasing.

"So?"

"You can't honestly be planning on sitting in here and reading all night," he said disbelievingly, practically falling down next to me on the sofa where I had been laying, causing me to jerk my legs back in order to make room.

"As mind-boggling as it is, yes I am," I rolled my eyes, placing the book on the nightstand behind my head before pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them.

"No, you're not," he said, as if correcting a small child, "You're going to keep me company tonight."

"As if you really need company," I sighed, shaking my head at him, "Poor, poor Theo. The lonely Slytherin."

"Very funny," he grinned, waving off my comment with a carefree indifference that made me so jealous. Why couldn't I go through life as he did? It took a lot to faze Theodore Nott. "Anyway, I have nothing to do tonight, and you have nothing to do tonight. So, we should figure out something to do together. I, for one, refuse to sit around here in the common room."

I stared at him. We had never really hung out before. Not in public, anyway. Sure, since we live together, we had gotten to know each other pretty well and relatively fast. However, our relationship was more of an inconspicuous friendship. We'd smile at each other when our paths collided in the corridors and in the classes that we shared.

Other than our daily walks down to breakfast, we had never really even had a conversation outside of our quarters. The other students knew that we were Heads together and accepted that we acknowledged each other as acquaintances, but they didn't really think anything else of it. Even Ron hadn't said a word about Theo since the fight we'd had the first day of classes at breakfast. It was sort of nice. Like an imaginary friend, only less creepy.

"Really?" I asked, unsure of myself now that he was mixing up our usual routine.

Theo shrugged, "Why not? We could just grab a few books and head to the library."

"What's the point of going to the library then? We can do that here."

"Well, maybe we can play a game or two there," he said playfully, obviously trying any means to get me to ease up on the idea, "You can run and hide in the aisles and then I'll attempt to out-wit the girl who probably knows the library better than Madame Pince."

I couldn't help it, I smiled at the idea. The sad part was that I could easily see Theo playing such a game, even though it sounded quite like the Muggle version of Hide and Seek. "You're insane," I chuckled.

"Maybe," he nodded, standing up and offering me a hand, "But, I'll bet I could still whip your butt."

"I'm not running around the library with you like a child," I said, letting him help me up before standing in front of him with my hands on my hips.

"Fine," he said, "We'll only study."

"Can't we just stay in for the night then?"

"Nope."

"Please?"

"No."

I scowled, my frustration clear, "You're being ridiculous."

"I just want to get out of here for a change," Theo explained calmly, experience making him already accustomed to my easily-irritated ways, "C'mon, Hermione. Since the start of term we've been hanging out, but never out of here. I know that we're from different Houses and everything, but I wouldn't think that would stop _you_ of all people."

Suddenly, everything became crystal clear. This wasn't about getting me out for the night, though I'll admit that I had been sort of a hermit lately. It was, _actually_, about getting our relationship out into the open. "You know that's not how it is," I said, smiling softly, "We're friends. I just kind of like the fact that there isn't any outside influences with us. We don't have to worry about anything this way."

"I get that," he smirked, just a tiny tilt of the corner of his mouth, "It'd just be nice to get out of here and be friends _there_."

I laughed, "Well look at you, Theodore Nott, being all touchy and emotional."

He grinned and tugged on a stray curl of mine that was hanging in my face, "Yeah, well don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold."

* * *

How completely embarrassing. Do you know that stupid little dance that people do when you cross paths with someone and both of you need to get by each other but every single time you move aside, you both move the exact same way? So, for a few humiliating moments you're just jumping from right to left in an effort to solve the problem? Yeah, well try doing that without turning a horrible shade of red in front of someone like Cedric Diggory.

In fact, to top it all off, we had done that awkward side-to-side thing a good five times before Cedric had placed both hands on my waist and swirled me around so we were both on the correct side of each other in the doorway to the Charms classroom. He had been coming, while I had been going. Actually, it was probably the first class that he hadn't sat in on since the start of term.

"Sorry," Cedric said, smiling sheepishly while lingering a few moments more than what was appropriate with his hands at my waist. We were so close that I could smell cinnamon on his breath and feel the muscles of his forearms flexing underneath my fingers where I had grabbed him in an effort to remain upright during the change in position.

I jerked my hands away from him and nodded stiffly, "Its fine."

Cedric moved his hands away from me a lot slower than I had. It was as if he was teasing me with the way that the tips of his fingers seemed to caress my hips as he dropped them to his side. His smile was gone as he cocked his head curiously to the side and studied me.

"Coming Hermione?" Ron asked suddenly, causing me to startle as I finally remembered that him and Harry were just behind me in the corridor now, and obviously waiting.

I looked over my shoulder at him, and nodded. It was hard being that close to each of them. In the middle of each of them. Like, I had a choice to make and eventually I wouldn't be able to get around it. Fortunately, today was by no means that day.

"See you around, Granger," Cedric whispered, eyeing Ron for a moment before turning his back to me and continuing on into the classroom, probably to go find Professor Flitwick.

I walked over to Ron slowly, keeping my eyes downcast. The second that I was a step away from him, he reached out and grabbed my hand. The strength of his hold caused me to jerk my head up to meet his gaze, yet his eyes remained on the spot where Cedric had just been. His grip was possessive, as if that simple gesture would keep me at his side forever. And it should, right? I mean, it should be enough to assure me that he was mine and I was his and _that_ was all that I'd ever need out of life.

"Do you want to go to the library when classes are over to get some work done?" he asked out of the blue, finally catching my eyes for the length of a heartbeat before turning to drag me down the hall toward our Defense Against the Dark Arts room, while completely disregarding Harry -not that he seemed to mind.

For a short moment an "of course," was on the tip of my tongue. Then I remembered my table and Cedric's head bowed over it, reading. I remembered the feel of the bookshelf against my spine as he unconsciously backed me up into it, and I remembered the feel of his lips against my skin. And it all happened in the library.

"No," I said, my own voice sounding foreign in my anxiety.

Ron looked at me and I saw a flash of accusation in his eyes momentarily.

"I mean," I hastily continued, "It's beautiful out. And you know how my favorite season is autumn. The leaves are just beginning to change and everything. How about we go to the lake and do some work there? The same spot as the other night."

The idea seemed to immediately lift his spirits. His eyes were bright the next time he looked down at me and there was a broad smile on his face. It was as if the suspicion had never been there at all. But, I remembered it. I never wanted to see it again, either.

Later that afternoon, after an excruciatingly long study session with Ron, I sat on my bed daydreaming. I didn't know what else to do with myself, so I just tried to think up something while ridding my mind of the feel of Ron's lips on my own. Apparently when he said he wanted to "get some work done," he meant he wanted to have a heated snogging session until my lips felt numb. Instead of sexy, though, all I felt was like I was some sort of machine, just doing what was expected. My mind had been completely elsewhere.

With a long sigh, I turned my head to stare out the nearest window. The sun was getting relatively low in the sky, but there was probably still a good hour or two until sunset. It was times like these when my father -had I been at home right now- would have suggested a stroll around town.

It was that notion that had me walking across the grounds of Hogwarts, by myself, with my shoes in my hands and my bare feet in the lush grass, just twenty minutes later. It felt so good to be alone and to be outside in the soft autumn breeze with the sun fading closer to the horizon with every minute. I had ditched my robes back in the common room, and now my skirt swooshed around my knees as it caught in the wind.

For the first time in weeks, I allowed myself to really think about my problem. About Ron and about Cedric. It was as if here, away from the castle, I was finally free to play out different scenarios in my head. What if I broke it off with Ron? What if I kissed Cedric? What if Ron found out about my unprecedented desire for another man?

Could I handle losing a friend?

The more I thought about it, the faster my feet moved and the farther away from the castle I went. Soon, I had dropped my shoes and was running. My legs were moving as quickly as they could while my arms pumped to a frantic rhythm that I didn't understand. I didn't stop, even when my bare feet began to ache from the dirt and grass beneath them. I just kept going, faster and faster, while I finally let tears crawl down my face and my breath came in gasps. Maybe if I went fast enough I could fly.


	4. Secret

"_To him that you tell your secret you resign your liberty_." -Anonymous

Halloween had arrived with a flourish at Hogwarts. You would think that real wizards and witches would not buy into a holiday that had been making them into frauds in the Muggle world for decades. Apparently, those wizards and witches didn't receive this memo, because never before had the day been such a big deal. I was fairly confident that my fellow classmates hadn't been nearly as spirited about it during my other years at school. It seemed that ever since the end of the war people had been just itching for any reason whatsoever to have a little fun. What better than the night of the dead, right? As if there weren't enough ghosts in the castle already.

The school was covered with magnificent decorations in every corner. Jack-o-lanterns and black candles hovered in the Great Hall and skeletons were charmed to hand out sweets to the first and second years, and, apparently, Ron and Harry. Hagrid had even let loose a thousand live bats in the corridors, much to the dismay of the faculty and a few terrified students. This, along with the heaping amounts of cobwebs that you needed to brush aside to get anywhere, just fueled the excitement. I had never quite appreciated Halloween, but even _I_ had to say that it brought people together rather remarkably, if nothing else.

"It's such a shame that McGonagall passed on the idea of a Halloween Ball," Ginny grumbled, stabbing a sausage link with more force than necessary on the morning of the holiday.

"Oh yeah, I haven't felt this disappointed in my entire life," Ron said dramatically, causing Harry and I to laugh. The three of us weren't really all that social, having had enough time in the spotlight since the end of the war. An extremely populated party didn't sound appealing from any angle that you looked at it. That being said, I didn't feel too bad that it had been Ron and myself who had fought so strongly against the notion to begin with. Being Head Girl really did have its perks.

"You could at least pretend you like, you know, _people_," Ginny snapped, glaring at her brother with a hatred that could only be for a sibling. A special hatred, if you will.

"I like people," Ron grinned, "Just not you."

"It's alright, love, you'll always have me," Harry said, smiling as he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at his girlfriend.

"Goody," Ginny deadpanned, "I'm so lucky, it continues to astound me."

I nodded my head sympathetically, "Sometimes I don't know who the bigger idiots are. Us, for actually dating them, or them . . . in general."

Harry and Ron gave simultaneous objections while Ginny and I laughed merrily at their expense. It felt extremely comforting to be happy together again. These were the people who understood what I had gone through during Voldemort's reign of terror better than any others. These were the people whom I had pressed my ear against the kitchen door at Grimmuald Place with in an attempt to hear the latest news of the fight. And later, I had fought beside them in the bloodiest battle since the early Goblin wars. The idea of the four of us no longer being together hurt more than words could describe. I would do everything in my power to prevent that from ever happening. If I had it my way, we would never drift apart and I'd always be their friend.

"Well, if you really feel that way maybe we should stop seeing each other," Ron said, his arm wrapping around my waist as he rested his forehead on the top of my head and whispered into my ear.

I smiled, brushing back his fringe, "If only it was that easy."

His chuckle reverberated through my body, but I couldn't help but think of the truth to those words. _If only_ . . .

* * *

"If you keep your face like that for any longer, it may stay like that forever," Theo said teasingly, coming up behind me and leaning backwards on my table with his arms crossed over his chest.

"What, beautiful and rosy?" I asked, looking up at him through the wisps of hair that had fallen into my face while I was working.

"No, all scrunched up in concentration," he said, reaching a hand out to pluck my quill from my grasp, "You need to stop working so much."

"Says the boy who finishes his essays weeks in advance."

"Says the girl who works with me on said essays," he chuckled, jokingly holding a hand out as if for a handshake, "Hello Pot, I'm Kettle."

I slapped his hand away with a laugh, "Is there any reason -besides simple amusement on your part- for you to come find me in the library just to annoy me?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," Theo said, clapping his hands in front of my face twice in order to regain my attention when I made the mistake of picking up my quill again and continuing where I had left off, "No, it's Theo time right now, Hermione."

"Okay," I sighed, stopping what I had been doing _again_ and turning to face him with my hands folded in my lap, "You have my undivided attention, Princess Nott."

"How dare you! You know that when I don't have my tiara on I like to be treated as a mere peasant like yourself," he cried melodramatically, "To the gallows with you!"

"You're completely hopeless," I muttered, shaking my head and standing up to gather all of my books and supplies.

"Oh good, so does this mean you'll come with me?" Theo asked, watching as I picked up my bag and shouldered it.

I turned around to look at him, "You never asked me to go anywhere."

"That's because I was just about to, before you so rudely called me a princess. I prefer 'Thou who is holier than I,' by the way."

"Where do you want me to go?" I asked, dismissing his antics with a scoff.

"Well, Draco and Blaise-"

"Absolutely not."

"But," he defended, trailing after me as I began to practically sprint away from him, "What else do you have to do tonight? Why won't you give them a chance?"

"Why won't you give Ron and Harry a chance?"

"I already told you I'd hang out with Potter if you wanted me to."

I spun around to face him expectantly, "And Ron?"

"Well, let's not push it," he said, smiling crookedly down at me.

"I don't understand you."

"Few do."

"I won't willingly subject myself to Draco Malfoy's tormenting when there are other, more important, things to be done," I said, raising my head to look him directly in the eyes.

Theo crossed his arms, "We'll see."

* * *

Quidditch is a completely ridiculous sport. If someone were to fall off their broom from the heights that the players flew at, the chances of them surviving were roughly equal to that of someone getting hit by lightening twice in one lifetime. And _that_ may even be pushing it when you factor in the speed at which the player was flying before plummeting to the ground. Surely there has to be something better to do than take such risks. Like, play tea-party with one of Hagrid's blast-ended skrewts? Or, poke yourself repeatedly in the eyeball with a needle?

"You can look now, Hermione," Neville laughed, nudging my shoulder in an effort to coerce me from my position with my head ducked into his chest and my glove-clad hands over my eyes.

"I'm never going to get used to this," I mumbled, peeking up into the early November sky where I could see Ron returning to his position in front of the goalpost. This was a good sign, being that the last time I'd checked he'd been rapidly losing altitude after being hit brutally in the shoulder by a Bludger.

"He's fine," Neville said, pointing up to Ron as if I hadn't already been watching him with eagle eyes, "He isn't even bleeding this time."

I grimaced, looking down again as Ginny only _just_ got out of the way of a cunning attack by a Chaser on the Slytherin team, "I think I'm going to get going."

"Aw, c'mon," Neville said, looking away from the game only briefly enough to give me a disapproving glance, "It's not nearly as bad as the last match. And besides, you know how Harry and Ron get when you don't watch them play."

"So, just tell me all the highlights when it's over. Just enough to get them to think I was here the entire time," I said, trying as hard as I could not to downright beg, "They know I barely watch, even when I'm actually here."

"It's not going to work," he sighed, shaking his head in a way that told me he'd do it anyway.

"Thanks, Neville," I smiled gratefully, patting his arm twice before dodging through the surrounding crowd in an effort to get as far away from the game as possible. Merlin did I hate Quidditch.

The voice of the 6th year boy, Geoffrey Cordell, who was announcing the game, drifted off as I got further and further away from the field. When I finally could no longer hear it at all, I gradually slowed my pace. However, it wasn't until I was passing through the Grand Entrance of the castle that I stopped and took a breath.

My whole body seemed to relax in relief at being away from all the chaos. I was never going to actually like to watch the game which my best friends all lived for. It was just one of those things that you had to learn to live with, but not enjoy a second of.

I slowly unraveled my scarf from around my neck as I began to walk in the direction of the kitchen. I needed tea. Loads of it. I had been feeling terrible all of the time lately. Maybe it was stress or simple sleep-deprivation. After all, I hadn't gotten a peaceful night of sleep in weeks. I was plagued with dream after dream filled with decisions, guilt and a certain man that I _shouldn't_ be thinking about at all, never mind dreaming of in delicious situations.

The sad part was that when I woke up, all that I was left with was the decisions and guilt. No delicious situations. And I really shouldn't be upset about it, but every single time I saw Cedric Diggory, one scene or another would pop into my head from our latest dreamland escapade and I would flush so much that I would feel myself growing feverish. I knew it was only in my head; yet, I still felt the whisper of his caress on my cheek or the back of my neck. It was driving me insane, and it wasn't even real! His touch was false. And yet, how did it still far outshine Ron's true, real feel?

My sigh seemed to echo off of the corridor walls around me as I descended the stairs toward my destination. Everyone was out watching the game. I wouldn't be surprised if I was the only one in the school, besides the elves. My hands twisted my scarf absently as I turned a corner and found the portrait that hid the kitchen's entrance. I was just reaching a hand out to tickle the proper fruit to gain access, when I heard the sound of my name.

Thrown off guard, I spun around quickly and looked down the short corridor to the culprit. Figures. "Are you stalking me or something?" I asked.

"'Course not," Cedric laughed, "I'm just incredibly lucky."

I sniffed in response.

"You dropped your scarf," he said, walking up to me and leaning down to pick up the cloth. I hadn't even noticed it was no longer in my grasp.

"That's what happens when you sneak up on someone and scare them half to death," I said, watching as he straightened back up to his towering height.

"You drop things?" he asked, smirking adorably and holding the scarf out for me to take. "I disagree. A normal person would have jumped or screamed. Not just stood there, staring, and then, only after seeing who the person was, dropping something."

I embarrassingly blushed, "That's not what happened."

"Really?" he asked disbelievingly, looking down at my hand when I cautiously tried to grab my scarf from him without making any actual skin-to-skin contact, "Well, I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part, then."

"I guess so," I said.

"You know, if you didn't want to touch me it's fine," he said, sounding like he was moments away from outright snickering, "But, I should tell you that your efforts are unfortunately wasted. I mean, you're wearing gloves."

Startled, I looked down at my hands again as if finally seeing. He was right. Here I was, trying to play surgeon as I extracted my belonging from his hands, when I really didn't have to worry after all. How utterly mortifying. "I didn't. I mean-"

"No, its fine, Granger," Cedric smiled, "It's really a compliment to me that I make you so nervous."

"You do _not_ make me nervous," I defended, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Really?" he asked, sounding as if he'd more likely accept that I had ditched Ron in favor of Professor Flitwick.

"Yes," I said, nodding my head stiffly, "As a matter of fact, I'm sick."

"You don't say."

"I do. It's quite bad actually."

"Fatal?"

"Possibly so. But, even worse, it's contagious. If I were to accidently touch you, who knows what will happen!"

"By George, let us put you in a bubble to save all of civilization."

His eyes were positively dancing in amusement and a full-fledged smile lit his face. He knew I was lying and I knew I was lying, so it was completely idiotic to _keep_ lying. There was no ground to gain by doing so. Even if I _did_ immensely enjoy seeing him so entertained, regardless of it only being at my expense.

Sighing heavily, I spun away from him. I was determined to not let him know that he had an affect on me. The last thing I needed was for Cedric to realize that I dreamt of being with him or that I all but swooned at the sight of his smile. Even that devilish smirk of his always made my stomach drop in a delightful, yet taboo, sort of way. I had come down here for tea, and only tea. What was I doing? Merlin, I needed to get my mind out of the fog.

Unfortunately, he followed me into the kitchen after the portrait swung open. I tried desperately to ignore him, choosing instead to focus solely on the swarm of house elves whom were launching themselves at me in an eagerness to please. It had taken years for me to finally realize that they _were_ happy serving others. I still was uncomfortable with it, though. Often going as far as debating with them in my effort to help make something or another, instead of them doing all the work as I sat down and waited.

"What can we's be getting the missus?" An elf by the name of Durby asked, pulling lightly on the bottom of my skirt in order to gather my complete attention.

"Just a cup of tea, please," I smiled, leaning down a bit so that I could look the creature directly in the eyes. "With a dab of sugar, if it's alright."

"'Course Missus. Durby will be getting that for the Missus right away," Durby stammered, blinking his eyes as if not believing what I had said. It really was extraordinary how a simple "please" could baffle them so.

"Thank you, Durby," I smiled, leaning back up to my full, yet unremarkable, height as he scurried off to get the tea.

"I missed that," Cedric said, causing me to turn my head to look at him for a second before facing forward again.

"What?"

"That whole spew thing that you started back in your fourth year."

"It's S.P.E.W.," I said through gritted teeth. Really, was it _that_ hard to comprehend? "Not spew."

"Sorry," he replied, sounding anything but it as he chuckled.

Sometimes it sounded like he was deliberately saying things like that just to get a rise out of me. Now that I thought back to it, I remember him actually being the only person to say the organization's name correctly when I had created it. Hmm.

"Was there a reason for you to follow me here?" I asked angrily, striding over to the perfect replica of the Gryffindor table that was located directly beneath the actual one. I unceremoniously plopped onto the bench, obstinately refusing to look over at Cedric as I felt him slide onto the bench at my right.

"I didn't follow you down here, if that's what you think," he said patiently, "My dormitory is a short bit away from the Hufflepuff common room. I live down here, and I happened, by chance, upon you. Or, maybe it was fate."

"Fate?" I laughed, still staring directly ahead of me. I didn't believe in fate. Fate and destiny and all of that rubbish was a simple scapegoat which weak people used in order to take the blame off of themselves. It was just another hoax, like Divination. "Please."

"Ah, you don't believe in it," he said matter-of-factly, "I should have known as much. Logical people are usually lacking in a bit of imagination."

Offended, I turned my head to glare at him, "My imagination is perfectly fine, thank you very much. If you're going to sit there and insult me, I'll just be leaving."

I was going to, too. I was even bracing my palms on the surface of the table in order to stand. Stupid Cedric Diggory was not going to annoy me any longer . . . well, at least not until Durby showed up with my tea. Bugger my manners. The poor elf had gone out of his way to make it for me, so I couldn't just up and leave. It'd hurt his feelings.

"Heres you go, Missus," he said, smiling broadly up at me with those big, adorable eyes.

"Thank you so much, Durby," I said, smiling as genuinely as I could as I settled myself back down in my seat and took the mug into my hands. Durby bowed his head before running off again, leaving me helpless.

"See, fate," Cedric laughed, looking over at me as he leaned his head against his fist as his elbow rested on the table. It was rather unnerving how intensely he watched me sometimes. "If Durby hadn't chose that exact moment to arrive with the tea, you'd be out the door by now."

"It was by chance. Not some preordained map created by a heavenly body," I said, rolling my eyes before taking a sip from the mug.

"I don't believe in chance," he said, "I believe that everything happens for a reason. That there's always a big picture for every little thing that we do."

"Well, I believe that we always have a choice. That every decision and action is on our shoulders and no one else's. We choose what we want to get out of life, what we want to do and-"

"And who we want to be with?" he added, raising an eyebrow at me as I looked over at him with wide eyes before nodding.

"Yes."

"What if you did have a choice?" Cedric whispered, looking down at the table, "But, you made your choices based on something that was bigger than yourself. So, it was a mixture of chance and fate. Like, you made a decision to be with someone based on a future that you were heading towards but that was unclear until those choices were made."

"That doesn't make sense," I said, staring at him as if captivated. Which, I was. He was wearing that look that had caught my interest so many weeks ago. That calculating, frustrated look in his eyes that made his forehead wrinkle in concentration and his lips part just the tiniest of bits. It was beautiful, really.

"Sure it does," he said, smiling wistfully to himself as if imagining something that I couldn't begin to, "There's a path preordained for everyone to take; however, the path isn't set in stone. Say, someone is fated to have the most passionate love that the world has ever seen . . . but the person whom they are to share that passion with hasn't been decided yet. It's a mixture of choice and destiny. That person still has the power to choose their lover."

I didn't say anything for a long moment. Long enough to draw his attention away from the table and back to me. His eyes were dark with some unknown need as he stared at me. Maybe he was right, maybe it was a mixture of both. But, maybe that was even worse than having all the choices made for you. After all, who wanted to be a jester when they had the chance to be king?

"Can I ask you something?" he whispered, not breaking eye contact.

I nodded.

"Do you feel even a little bit, for me, of what I feel for you?"

My breath caught in my throat. _Lie_, I thought. _Tell him he's nothing to you. Tell him that you're in love with Ron and that even if fate didn't bring you together, Ron is who you belong with_.

"Yes," I replied, pushing those thoughts aside. I had been thinking it for so long now that I needed to get it out. I was never good at keeping my secrets, always telling Harry and Ron something just to have someone else know. It was awful to keep something bottle up inside you when you so desperately wanted to just tell it to get that weight off your shoulders. However, the problem with telling your secrets was giving the reins over to someone else. Because, depending on the weight of the secret, the person whom you told could be your downfall. And in terms of this particular secret, I had a feeling that Cedric was going to be just that.

The beginning of the end.

But, of what?

* * *

**AN: So, how was it? I know, I know. It took _forever_ for me to post it. I'm so sorry! I have a confession, though. It was actually up on my livejournal page for over a week, completely finished. I just kept on forgetting, with my scatterminded brain and all, to post it here. Again, I'm sorry! Anyway, be sure to leave a comment :D How'd you like the deep conversation she had with Cedric?**


	5. Desire

"_Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained._" -William Blake

Everything became unbelievably silent after I answered Cedric's question. The clanging of pots and pans coming from the numerous house elves that were already preparing for supper seemed to drop away from my ears. It was as if someone had muted the background music to our conversation without warning. Even the pounding of my heart seemed to come to a halt in my chest; however, since I didn't begin to see a light at the end of some darkened mythical tunnel, I figured that it was only my overactive imagination and not my untimely death.

_Yes_

My reply kept echoing off the corners of my mind, reminding me that the damage was done and that I couldn't just take it back. It wasn't that easy. No, I was doomed to face the weight of my decision and all repercussions which followed. I knew for a fact that I had to, but what I didn't know was whether or not I actually wanted to. Did I _like_ the fact that Cedric now knew how I felt about him? Or did it frighten me?

Probably both.

I mean, hadn't my heart been telling me that I wanted him for a while now? My dreams and thoughts had been consumed with his face, his voice, his scent and his touch for over a month. My breath would catch when he was near, and I seemed to pay far too much attention to his presence during my Charmed classes. And with Ron sitting right next to me to make matters worse! If _that_ didn't prove how I truly felt, I don't know what would. But, there was more to it than that. More to it than just any school-girl crush. The passion behind this lust was both terrifying and exciting. Intense.

"Yes?" Cedric prompted, his dark gray eyes pulling me from my thoughts and drawing my attention to the smile which turned up the corners of his utterly kissable mouth. What was the expression on his face? Hope? Maybe that idea was a little too much for my own good. In fact, the expression made me want to nod my head vigorously and blurt out an in depth description of my dreams of him and maybe even our activities in said dreams.

Thankfully, I didn't.

"Yes," I said, taking off my gloves -just to do something with my hands-, and trying to sound confident instead of horrified of what I had done by opening my big mouth and spitting out the truth, of all things.

"You're blushing," he said, his voice softer than I'd ever heard it before.

My hands flew to my cheeks as if that alone could protect me from further embarrassment. Leave it to Hermione Granger to aim for confident and end up with utterly dim-witted. Why couldn't I be like Ginny or even Luna? Oh Merlin. You know something is completely wrong with you when you dream of being like Luna Lovegood.

Cedric watched me with another one of his strange expressions. For the first time ever, I wished I could have the knowledge of boys that Lavender Brown had picked up in those petty magazines that she was always reading on her bed when I had shared a room with her in previous years. My relationship with Ron had done absolutely nothing whatsoever to help prepare me for such a moment as this one.

Then again, I probably shouldn't want information gathered from my boyfriend being used to help me with my . . . Cedric.

"You know," he said, staring at my lower face and making me mentally list off the ingredients of Wolfsbane in order to get my mind away from subjects that it should not be breeching, "It's okay that you told me the truth."

"Really?"

I could have smacked myself on the forehead for that incredibly witty response.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I mean, it's not like I'm going to follow through with all of this-"

"Then why haven't you left me alone?" I blurted out, suddenly rather peeved. Who did he think he was? First following me around places and blatantly flirting for weeks, then abruptly deciding to draw back after I finally admitted something incredibly embarrassing to him. I mean, I wouldn't have answered him at all if I hadn't felt positive that my feelings would be reciprocated.

I didn't realize what I had been meaning to do until my hand was already flying through the air. I was just so angry with him and myself for opening up my heart to such hurt, and for making myself so vulnerable. He had made me think that he wanted me as much as I wanted him, and then he dismissed it like I was a fool to think anything of it at all. My breathing ceased as I waited for my hand to hit its mark.

But, it never happened.

Just before it did Cedric's reflexes must have jumped into overdrive. His hand shot out to enclose around my wrist, stopping my assault and causing my eyes to narrow in frustration. I jerked my hand in an attempt to get rid of the warmth of his touch, but only succeeded in throwing the both of us off balance and backwards.

I knew my mistake the moment I felt the weight of another body land on top of my own. My intent had been to get away from him and now I was stuck closer than ever before. His breath was hot against the nape of my neck as I closed my eyes and basked in the feel of his body sliding over mine. I knew it was wrong, but in that moment I didn't even care that he had just moments before cast aside everything.

His hand released its vice-like grip on my wrist and hesitantly moved to join his other hand which was pressed flat against the floor to the side of my waist. My breath was coming in soft pants as I felt his shift from my neck to my lips. The sweetness of it made my mouth water and a shiver run up my spine. Cedric moved just slightly, lifting the weight of his body off of mine and causing me to open my eyes. Then, he inched forward just the slightest of bits so that now we were face to face.

If I hadn't already been breathing heavily, I would have started to in that moment. His eyes burned into my face as his stare remained stuck on my lips and his arms held up his weight on either side of my body. Noticing that I was looking at him, he focused the power of his gaze onto my eyes. For a second I could see myself reflected back in those intoxicating dark orbs. Was that really _me_ burning in desire for a man who had the same exact expression painted across his features?

"You've got a pretty remarkable temper going for you, Granger," Cedric whispered, his voice coming out tense even while his words were teasing. "I probably would have had a substantial black-eye. I didn't mean what I said the way you think I meant it, though. And I'm sorry for making you so angry."

"How did you mean it, then?" I asked, ignoring the number of "means" that were in that exchange and lifting my chin stubbornly.

"Well, you didn't let me finish," he said, his mouth curving up into a slightly amused smirk. "I was _going_ to say that I wouldn't follow through with it if you didn't want me to."

"What do you mean, 'if you didn't want me to?' I just told you how I felt!" I exclaimed, narrowing my eyes at him and frowning.

Cedric sighed and I got another waft of his breath, which made me inhale deeply. How was it possible for a man to be this . . . delicious? It wasn't fair. No girl in her right mind would have the strength to resist such temptation.

"You're in a relationship with Weasley," Cedric explained. "Just because I want to, doesn't mean I can."

"Want to what? Stop speaking in riddles," I demanded, looking up at him with wide eyes as he looked down at my lips again.

"Want to be with you," he elaborated softly while a slight shake of his head told me that it was the most obvious thing in the world and I was just being an idiot.

"It's complicated," I said, hesitantly reaching a hand out as if to touch him and then pausing right before my palm cradled his handsomely chiseled cheek. "I wish it wasn't."

"It doesn't have to be," he said, suddenly shifting his weight onto one arm and placing a hand on the back of mine in order to press the palm of it against his skin.

My mouth went dry at the contact and my mind went blank of everything except him. All thoughts of Ron, my friends, and my troubles just disappeared. Instead, I was left to picture how everything could be. How I could be happy and free of all of the problems that constantly plagued my mind. Cedric was witty, mature and more than a little attractive. He measured up to my every standard and had done nothing in the world to make me not want to give him a chance, save for that tiny misunderstanding earlier. And I was now beginning to realize that the one dispute wasn't nearly enough to stop the inexplicable connection that surged through me when he was around.

"That doesn't change the fact that it is," I murmured, biting my lip as if that slight pain would wake me from whatever stupor I had just fallen into.

"It _can_ change, though. We can make it change."

"Maybe."

"Tell me what you want, then," he said, pressing his face into my hand like I had water in it and he had just walked out of the Sahara Desert following a year of being lost in its fierce heat.

"What?"

His forehead bowed until it was pressed against my own, "Tell me something that you want. Anything."

"I want to stop feeling so weighed down by a future that isn't what I chose, but what others chose for me," I confided, feeling overwhelmed by his touch. It was as if any contact between us overrode my senses. He was consuming me, and I was in total submission to it.

"That's why you believe in choice and not fate," Cedric said, his lips barely five centimeters away from my own. "Because you don't want it picked for you. You want to pick it for yourself."

"Yes," I breathed, watching his face closely and noting the contrast between our hands where they both were touching. The skin of his hand was rough from years of Quidditch, whereas mine was soft from my lack of athletic activities. The skin of his hand was tanned from being in the golden sun, whereas mine was extremely pale because I happen to have extremely dismal genes. And the skin of his hand was completely untainted and utterly perfect in my eyes, whereas mine had been marred during the war by a long, ugly scar that ran across the expanse of the back of it. Did he see how much of a wreck I was when he looked at me? Or did he just see the facade? "I want to make my own decisions for once."

"And what's your first choice going to be?" he asked, smiling softly down at me and causing me to see the slight lines that appeared in the corners of his eyes while they, too, curved upward..

"You," I answered, returning his smile before my heart leaped to my throat and his lips descended toward mine.

My breath hitched and I felt his chest press against my own as he came closer. How long did I know him for? We hadn't really spoken much until this year when the desire to be around him started to build up in force until this moment. We _had_ spoken a little bit back before he had graduated. He had been dating Cho Chang, then, and I had been a whole different girl than I am now. Going up to him hadn't caused a moment of hesitation. It was friendly, not lustful. All of that was different, though. Now, the closer he got the more I saw us together. He was taking over my body, but I welcomed it. Wanted it. Needed it.

"Is the missus alright?" A voice squeaked from somewhere overhead, causing me to gasp and Cedric to jerk away from me and up to his knees. The distance apart from him almost made me whimper before I took a deep breath and my mind seemed to awaken from whatever cloud it had just been lost on.

"Missus?"

Quickly sitting up, I spun my head around to look at Durby -the house elf who had given me my tea not too long ago now. Merlin, it felt like a whole other lifetime. I glanced back to Cedric, noting that he was breathing heavily and seemed to be shooting daggers -as he climbed to his feet- at the little creature who had interrupted whatever mess we had just dove head first into.

"What?" I asked, utterly dumbstruck at how very . . . wanton I had just proven myself to be when faced with what I desired.

"Is the missus being ill?" Durby asked, his head tilted to the side as he fiddled with the edges of the small white shirt which all the house elves working in the castle had been given had they wanted it. "Durby can fetch the missus another cup of tea if the missus is wanting it."

"No, no," I said, furrowing my eyebrows as I concentrated on trying to listen to what poor Durby was going on about as I also tried to piece together what had just happened. I was usually very good at multitasking, so the fact that I couldn't bring my brain to kick into such a gear really said something about my current situation. "I'm completely fine."

Yeah, and Fluffy was just a tiny little Chihuahua.

Accepting that I was, as I had said, fine, Durby scurried back off into the hustle and bustle of the kitchen after a quick bow of his head. Being as I couldn't even bring myself to look at Cedric this was an extremely bad thing. The idea of being on my own with him for an extended period of time did not bode well with me, now. The last thing I needed was to get caught up in something that I didn't have the strength or will to stop. Actually, I was pretty sure that, had Durby not chosen that precise moment to come over to us, I'd be far too lost in the lure that was Cedric Diggory, instead of standing in the middle of a room avoiding his eyes.

"So," he began, his voice sounding torn between amusement and frustration.

"So," I repeated, throwing a sly glance at him from the corners of my eyes as I looked through the curls that had fallen into my face when I'd decided my shoes were very curious objects, which I should immediately study.

Cedric sighed and scratched the back of his head, an action I was beginning to realize he did quite often.

"I'm really sorry if I offended you," he said at last, dropping his hands limply to his sides as I twisted my body around to face him. "I _did_ mean it when I said I wouldn't follow through with this if you didn't want me to. I don't know what happened."

"Well, I'm pretty sure the both of us know what happened," I said, still not really believing that I had lost my head in such a way.

"Oh, I know _what_ happened," Cedric chuckled, "What I don't know is _why_ it happened. Something strange comes over me whenever I'm around you. It's like being under the Imperius Curse and having no control of your own body."

At least I wasn't the only one feeling that way.

"I know what you mean," I mumbled, looking down at the floor and biting the inside corner of my mouth nervously. "Er, I should really get going. The Quidditch match is probably nearly over and I'd like to catch Neville before Harry or Ron starts asking me about plays that are way over my head, especially since I didn't watch a single moment of it."

A smile spread across Cedric's face, making my heart stop for a second as I was momentarily swept away again, "You don't like Quidditch. Got it."

"Got what?"

"I'm making a mental list of everything about you that I should file away for future reference," he said, shrugging it off as if every boy in the school was doing the same exact thing.

"Future reference?" I asked, summing up enough courage to at least flirt a tiny bit. "Cocky are we? Are you really that sure that you'll get the girl in the end?"

Cedric laughed, the sound warming me to the bone. I watched him as he walked towards me and the smile that already curved his lips up changed into that devilish smirk of his that never failed to make my knees weak. When he reached me, I tilted my head up to stare up at him.

"You're forgetting something, Granger," he whispered, his voice husky.

"And what's that?"

He winked, leaning down to press a chaste -yet absolutely bewitching- kiss on my right temple, "I, unlike you, _do_ believe in fate."

My heart was still pounding ferociously in my chest an hour later as I echoed everything Neville had told me about the game, play by play, to Harry, Ron and Ginny.

* * *

"Okay, I'm completely jealous."

Ginny smiled over her shoulder at me from her spot in the middle of the common room, casting a glance over everything. I hadn't even realized that none of my friends had ever set foot inside the place before Ginny asked if we could just hang out there to study (she was having serious problems in Ancient Runes). The moment she walked in she proceeded to point out the beauty of several artifacts that had drifted to the background whenever I was alone. I wasn't really all that into decor.

"It's not really anything too spectacular," I said, squinting my eyes a little in an attempt to see the absolute brilliance of the room. No such luck. "I mean, the window is pretty nice, I guess."

"Hermione," Ginny sighed, turning to me and shaking her head, "I don't know what to do with you sometimes."

"Get in line," a voice said from behind us, causing me to roll my eyes as I directed a rude gesture in his general direction. "Nice manners."

"You're one to talk," I said, swatting at his hand when he reached out to tousle my hair playfully.

"What are you guys up to?" he asked, laughing as I pouted at him and made a pointless attempt to save myself from a take-over of curls.

"Hermione's helping me out. I'm a disaster in Ancient Runes," Ginny explained, throwing a glare at me that I didn't understand.

I looked at her questioningly before nodding in agreement.

"Ancient Runes? That's not mandatory," Theo said, furrowing his eyebrows. "If you're not good at it, you can just trade it for another course."

"But I like it," Ginny said, sounding like she was a second away from saying "duh." Was it just me, or did she sound completely annoyed? The Weasley temper was infamous, but I had never had Ginny turn it on me before. And I couldn't even begin to imagine why she'd turn it on Theo.

"That's good," Theo said, glancing over at me in confusion. I guess he had picked up on it too. "I'll leave you guys to whatever girl talk you've got to get out of your systems."

"You're more than welcome to join us, Theo, we're just getting to the naked pillow fight," I teased, ignoring Ginny's exaggerated scoff.

"I thought that was just for slumber parties," he laughed, stopping halfway between us and the door to his room.

"Oh no, we try to work them in whenever we get a chance," I said, smiling at him one more time before he shook his head and disappeared into his room, closing the door behind him.

Ginny was just standing there, arms crossed over her chest, when I turned around to look at her. Taken aback, I automatically looked over my shoulder as if Ron or Harry would be standing there, completely deserving of such a scowl. No such luck. It was directed at me and only me. Well, and Theo; but he was gone now, the stupid git.

"What?" I asked, completely confused as I gave myself a quick once over to see if I was wearing something that she'd be mad about. Ginny _did_ have a tendency of taking it personally when I decided to be a "fashion don't". I really don't think I could, however, offend her in my school uniform.

"Is there anything going on between you and Nott?" Ginny demanded, narrowing her eyes accusingly and throwing me off guard.

"_What_? Where the heck did you get an idea like that?" I blurted out, choosing to forget the fact that she really did have a reason to worry -just not with Theo.

"C'mon, Hermione, you two non-stop flirt," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "It's easy to see."

"It's not like that, though. We're just friends. We live together," I explained, pushing my hair away from my face and shaking my head. "It's all completely platonic."

"Maybe," Ginny said, her tone still fierce, "But, just because you think so doesn't mean that Nott thinks the same. He likes you."

"As a friend."

"No, as a friend who he happens to picture naked," she said, dropping her hands to her sides. "Don't hurt my brother."

"I'm not planning on it," I mumbled, looking at the floor in an effort to hide the evasion. If I didn't say flat out that I would, it wouldn't be as bad when I did . . . right? I mean, I didn't _plan_ to hurt him. I just wasn't sure if I could avoid it in my efforts to be happy. Couldn't we both be happy, even if it wasn't together?

"Okay," she smiled suddenly, walking over to me to put her arm around my shoulders, "You just scared me for a second there. I should have known you're not that type of girl."

"Yeah," I said, trying to sound as upbeat as she had.

Later on, as we were both packing up our books so that Ginny could head back to the Gryffindor common room, I suddenly asked, "Hey, er, do you think Harry is the one?"

"What?" she asked, laughing softly.

"Do you think you're going to spend the rest of your life with him? Marry him, have kids with him. You know?" I elaborated, fiddling with one of my spare quills.

"Absolutely," Ginny answered, her smile widening impossibly.

I took a second to think about that. Harry and Ginny hadn't even been officially together for a year yet. Though, neither had me and Ron. They had dated at the end of Harry, Ron and I's sixth year and then had broken it off at Dumbledore's funeral not long after. It hadn't been until just a few months ago that they had solidified their relationship.

"How do you know?" I asked, "I mean, you both haven't been together _that_ long."

"I just do. I mean, in my heart I know that living without him would be unbearable. We've always been meant to be. It's kind of the same with you and Ron, though," she said, shrugging. "You two haven't always been together, but you always knew you would be eventually. And now that you are, you can finally have the happily ever after that everyone's been predicting since you guys were only twelve."

"So, if Harry asked you to marry him you'd say yes?"

"Without a moment of hesitation," she smiled, as if the very idea of him doing such a thing would make her world sparkle forever. "But, isn't it the same with you? If Ron asked you right now, you'd never say no."

. . . Sure.

* * *

**AN: So, this is most likely my last post of the story until after the holidays, because I've got tons and tons of stuff weighing on me. I've got so much to do. Those of you who are reading my other story, My Snow, will hopefully have another post of that before Christmas, though. Happy Holidays everyone! Oh, and I just thought of another idea for a story and I'm relly excited about it. I'm going to start working on it in 2009 (haha, it's funny to think about it that way.) Thanks for reading, and be sure to review!**


	6. Choice

"_You have brains in your head.  
You have feet in your shoes.  
You can steer yourself  
Any direction you choose._"

–Dr. Seuss

Never had a single class seemed to pass quite this slowly before. At least for me, I mean. Unlike Harry and Ron, _I_ actually enjoy school and look forward to each and every lesson. I'm a learner. It's in my blood, and has been since I was barely crawling as a baby. So, as I sat through Potions two weeks following our return from winter break, it came as a colossal surprise for me when I realized that for the first time I didn't want to be there.

What was happening to me? Sure, I don't like Slughorn and happen to think his teaching methods are severely lacking in most areas. However, I had never actually felt so strongly about it that it overcame my need to be excellent in my classes and show respect for a professor while they taught. Yet here I was, staring at the piece of chalk that had been charmed to write the notes down for the students to copy as Slughorn practically _spat_ the lesson out at us while wandering back and forth in front of the chalkboard, thus blocking what was being written anyway.

Idiot.

Maybe my mood was just because we were studying all of the different reactions that each ingredient to Wolfsbane had with each other while the potion was brewing. I'd learned all about Wolfsbane ages ago in my effort to help Remus Lupin to the best of my abilities as he went through life as a werewolf. Well, before his death in the war anyway. My previous knowledge may just be what was preventing me from putting my all into trying to pay attention. Nevertheless, I'd gone ahead and taught myself lessons before the class had covered them on many occasions. And never had it made me quite so . . . lazy.

A sudden pressure on my shoulder jerked me out of a daze as I desperately attempted to find a meaning to what Slughorn was lecturing on. Looking down I nearly laughed as I took in Ron's expression as he slept with his mouth open and his hair hiding his innocent-looking face. After lifting my arm up just slightly enough to get him off Ron's head dropped onto the desk we shared with a thud. I bit my lower lip to stop from making my amusement obvious as he jerked awake, eyes wide as he wiped at the corner of his mouth tiredly.

Unable to stop a quiet snort of laughter, I drew Ron's gaze to me. A sleepy smile lit his face as he nodded over toward Slughorn, made a show of yawning, and then made his eyes go cross-eyed. I slapped his arm and shook my head at him, determined to not burst out laughing. Ron's smile broadened as he threw me a wink, nudging me underneath the desk with his knee before facing forward again to put up the pretense of paying Slughorn his undivided attention. At least that was one of us. I didn't think I could even fake it today. I just couldn't keep my mind from wandering away from Wolfsbane and to the dream I had just had last night.

I guess if I really thought about it my lack of attention today was just due to the numerous other things coursing through my mind and causing a distraction. In some ways I hated dreaming. Sure, they could be amazing sometimes and almost too real. You could have the most fantastic of adventures in your head without the tiniest bit of fear of the consequences of it. You were safe, to some extent, in your unconscious. Last night hadn't been like that, though. It wasn't a nightmare and it wasn't some horribly sad event being relived like some of my other frolics in dreamland have been. However, it still had frightened me of something that I didn't really have to be scared of ever before.

Myself.

My dream had been like none that I'd ever had before. It was as if I were in another body watching an older version of myself. Maybe I was a ghost or an astral-projection or something. Either way, I watched as "I" apparated onto the front lawn of a medium-sized white cottage with cranberry-colored shutters. A very quaint white picket fence surrounded the property, which in my mind seemed like the perfect amount of space for a couple of children to play merrily in as a dog, or perhaps a cat, looked on from their place lying in the sun.

Following myself into the cottage I was met with the sight of an entire family sitting down to eat dinner together. The Hermione that wasn't really me walked right on over to Ron with a smile and kissed him in greeting as he stood from his seat at the head of the table momentarily and asked how my day had gone. That part hadn't made me nearly as nervous as the other part of the scene had. It was the two extra people sitting around the table next to Ron as I walked in that still made my stomach flip-flop unsteadily as I thought back on it. One was a little girl and the other was a little boy, the boy seeming just a tiny bit older. The girl seemed likely enough since her father was a Weasley. She had red hair like Ginny's and my own brown eyes.

The boy, however, made my head spin.

Not only did he not have the infamous Weasley hair that I had always figured that there was no way around, but he also didn't have the pale skin that Ron and I both shared. No, this little boy had my curls and my love for reading –judging by the rather thick book he had behind his back as he sat with his fingers playing over its smooth spine- yet no clear sign of Ron in him like one would think. Instead, he had sandy brown hair and gray eyes that flashed like a dark storm cloud as he looked up from his plate.

What did that mean? With the way my life has been going it isn't hard to picture myself married to Ron in the future. In fact, it seems inevitable even though I continue to have my doubts about it. The fact that in my dream every detail seemed to be so believable -except my future son's appearance- was enough to have anyone's head in the clouds and not on their schoolwork. The boy's eyes weren't like mine or Ron's, but like Cedric's. So was his hair. It wasn't in me to have faith in fortunetelling and all of that rubbish; yet, did that mean there wasn't a little part of me that was frightened that I really had seen my life years from now? And that in that life I would become someone who cheated on her husband and got pregnant with another man without ever coming clean?

"Hermione."

My head jerked up and to the right in order to look at Ron as he stood over me with his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"You alright?" he asked, reaching out to tuck a strand of my hair behind one of my ears and off of my face as I fidgeted against the attention.

"Fine," I responded immediately, standing up and gathering my supplies. "Just gazed off for a second, is all."

"I know how that is," he said, smiling and shaking his head. "That was the longest class ever. It's absolutely rubbish that we have to sit here and learn about potions that we've known about for years now. Remember when we spent a week doing nothing but Polyjuice?"

"And we had to write that ridiculously long essay on it, even though we've known everything about it since our second year," I put in, grinning slightly over my shoulder at him as I shouldered my bag. He automatically reached out to grasp my hand in his before I could move away.

"Did anyone else feel about ready to put an end to their suffering during that lecture?" Harry asked, coming up behind us as we walked together toward the door and out into the corridor.

"That's what we were just saying," I replied with a short chuckle.

"You?" Harry asked, looking utterly amazed with his green eyes wide open. "But, you never find lessons boring, even when you teach them to yourself weeks ahead of time."

"That's different," I said, rolling my eyes as we started making our way up the dungeon stairs. "When I do that in most of my other classes I don't have Slughorn's flying spit drawing my attention away from the topic at hand."

The boys laughed.

"Someone needs to teach the man how to project his voice without projecting more disgusting things as well," Harry chuckled, causing us all to laugh some more to each other as we directed ourselves toward the library. They had both promised me that they'd spend some time there to do homework today.

We continued making jokes the entire walk there. Even with all of the laughter, though, I still felt a rising tension within me and I was sure that Ron could feel how clammy my hand was becoming since he kept throwing sidelong glances my way. Could he tell how nervous I was? I'd always known Ron to be rather oblivious, but if Cedric could see behind my mask why couldn't my boyfriend? Shouldn't that have told me something valuable? Shouldn't that have been the first sign to just get out of the relationship?

It wasn't until we were just about to enter the library that I remembered that I was supposed to have grabbed my Ancient Runes work from the common room on our way up. There was a paper due by the end of the week and my head had been so out of it lately that I hadn't even done more than a few hours of research yet. Merlin, Theo would be laughing for days if I told him that.

"Hey, I'll meet you both at the table all the way in the back just a few rows down from the restricted section. I forgot my notes back in my common room," I explained as they both stopped walking to look back at me. I released Ron's hand immediately and took a step backwards in the direction we had just come.

"Do you want one of us to go with you?" Ron asked.

"No, it's fine. I'll be back in ten minutes tops. I'll meet you in the back," I said, spinning around on the spot to rush away.

"What's wrong with your usual table?" Harry shouted after me in confusion.

Pretending that I didn't hear him, I spun around the next corner and hurried down the staircases again. Why did I find the need to be so shady around them? Just because I didn't want to tell them the truth didn't mean that I couldn't make them question me a little bit less by telling them small little tidbits of a broader picture. Just because I didn't want to explain what was going on with me and Cedric, didn't mean I couldn't tell them another truth about that particular table in the library. I mean, it's drafty. That's true, and it certainly annoys me while I work. I could have always told them that.

I was still contemplating this as I spun the last corner until our entrance into the common room and saw the person leaning against the wall opposite the portrait covering up the door. I'd been putting a lot of effort into avoiding Cedric for the few weeks we'd been back from break, and the short time beforehand following our . . . _thing_ in the kitchens. What else could you call it? It was bad enough that Cedric seemed to be putting just as strong of an effort into finding me while I avoided him. I didn't want to think about how awkward the inevitable confrontation between us would be, though. And I definitely was trying to prolong having to admit the choice I'd already unconsciously made.

"Granger!" he called as soon as I spun around to go back in the direction of the library.

Damn my luck.

"Cedric," I breathed out as I turned around again, trying to sound more casual than I felt. I walked slowly toward him as he pushed off of the wall. I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach the moment I was within two steps of him. It was so unfair that he was so beautiful. "You were waiting for me outside of my common room?"

"I didn't know what else to do," he shrugged while looking me over quite blatantly. I felt naked beneath the heat of his eyes. Sometimes when he looked at me in a particular way it was like he knew what I was feeling and saw so much deeper than everyone else did. I didn't deny that to certain extend though. He was, after all, amazingly observant.

"What if Theo came along before I did?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"He has Muggle Studies now, does he not?" he replied, smirking at me in response to this small victory. One thing about Cedric that I couldn't help but react to was his ability to keep me on my toes. He was a quick thinker and certainly did his research.

"Yes, he does," I said, sighing in defeat. "But it'll be over soon. What do you want?"

Cedric looked around us as if to see whether or not someone was coming before stepping toward me and lowering his voice, "I think I made it abundantly clear what I want just a few weeks ago."

My face heated up as I looked up at him with wide eyes. "It's wrong of you to be here. This can't happen. I love Ron and he loves me. He's my boyfriend for a reason."

"Well, I propose an amendment to that situation," he said matter-of-factly, smiling calmly as if what I had said didn't faze him in the slightest.

"I don't want it to change," I said without real feeling to back it up, crossing my arms over my chest and looking down at the floor.

"You're a liar, but I can handle that," he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck as he ducked his head in an attempt to catch my gaze. "I'm not like the others. You can't fool me nearly as easily."

"You're right, I'm a liar. But not the way you think I am," I said, narrowing my eyes at him as I looked up. "If you've believed for a second that I like you, you're an even bigger fool than the others."

"Anger looks good on you, Granger," Cedric said, tilting his head to the side and leaning towards me. "You're eyes flash and your cheeks get all cute and red. You're nose gets all squinty and your hands immediately fly to your hips like you're about to give someone a real talking to."

I looked down and bit my lip to hold back a groan as I saw that he was right. My hands had risen to my hips sometime during our conversation.

"You make it so much fun to make you mad," he grinned. "If you want me to stay away from you you're going to have to try harder than what you're already doing. It's done nothing but make me want you more."

"Stop it," I scolded, subconsciously panicking at the way the husky timbre of his voice made my body tingle. "I've got to get going or Ron and Harry will come looking for me."

"What was the point of finally telling me how you feel just so that you could create even more distance between us then before?" he asked and for once his tone sounded different than its usually calm, indifferent quality. Now it sounded annoyed.

"You want me to just give in and be with you, but its not going to happen. I don't even know you! I have a boyfriend and friends who think I should be with him. I have people looking up to me and I can't just let them down," I spat, my voice trembling at the weight of all my pent-up emotions as I tried not to be too loud in the corridor. Did he realize that this was my last stand, my last defense? Did he realize that he'd already broken me down to my last wall? No.

"Stop it!" he erupted in irritation, his voice echoing off of all of the walls around us. Thank goodness we weren't in a very populated section of the castle. "Quit doing this to yourself and to me! Stop thinking about your friends and the expectations they have. You're stronger than that, and you know it! Merlin, Granger, can't you see that you're letting it eat you up? You're so unhappy and you don't even know it. I'm so tired of being the only one who notices when I get nothing in response!"

"I'm perfectly fine," I argued, clenching my jaw at the stinging feeling in the back of my throat that said tears weren't far now. I'd never seen him like this. "You're the one with the problem, and you just need to point fingers at me to build your ego and feel better about yourself!"

The outburst was met with silence on both ends. I knew it was a desperate lie and he didn't know how to take the accusation.

My eyes started to water as I turned away from him and walked stiffly over to the portrait and whispered the password. The portrait swung open and I didn't even need to look backwards to know that Cedric was following me inside. He wasn't one to leave a row open-ended. It was in his Hufflepuff ways to follow through with things. The only issue was whether I wanted him to follow through with it or not. And if I stopped acting as if I wasn't about to give in I'd know that I wanted that more than anything.

"Is that how you really think of me?" his voice whispered from the doorway as I heard the portrait swing shut again behind us.

I was unable to answer for a few seconds, just busying myself with the task of collecting my books and notes from the coffee table where Theo and I usually worked together. It was so hard to stay there and not run away or, better yet, run into his arms. I didn't even know what to call the emotions that I was feeling. The only thing I could make out was heartbreak. My throat felt sore just thinking about the words that I wanted to say.

"Granger?" he prompted.

"Of course not, Cedric," I replied, my voice still testy as I tried to come to terms with things. Was it wrong to be so very frustrated with myself after all of this time? Had I honestly been that dim? "I was upset and I said something that I didn't mean. It happens."

"I know," he muttered softly, his voice sounding so gentle compared to the demanding and passionate tone he'd used to yell at me. How could I feel so bland when I'm with Ron and so . . . complexly emotional with the man before me? "I didn't try to find you just so I could yell at you. I've just been so . . . frustrated."

"It's alright," I whispered, dropping my hands to my sides as I sat down on the couch and looked over at him. "I deserved it. I've been a royal arse lately."

"Yes you have," he nodded, causing me to laugh gently when I looked up suddenly to find a teasing grin on his face.

"I really am sorry for that," I added, running a hand over my forehead as if that alone could calm me down and sooth the pulsing headache that was taking root in my temples. "I never meant to be so obnoxious about my decision."

Cedric stood in the doorway a moment longer, simply looking from me to the common room and back again. The fleeting thought that he would just up and leave right then crossed my mind. He looked uncomfortable or nervous about something, and it made _me_ uncomfortable because I never really thought he ever doubted himself. He was so confident normally. Humble, but still confident. More butterflies erupted in the pit of my stomach when he let down that impenetrable façade.

"You've got to understand something Granger," Cedric began, moving toward the couch before sitting directly to my right with his thigh pressed distractingly against my own. I could feel the warmth of his body through the material of our robes. "I don't want to care about you like I do. I've never asked to feel this way. It isn't something I can help. When I'm around you, you're everything. I can't think of anything else."

"What are you saying?" I asked, looking up at him breathlessly as his words washed over me and made my heart beat wildly in my chest. It felt calming to know he felt the same way I felt about him, and to that degree.

"I'm saying that I know that you have a boyfriend and I know that you're expected to be with him. But, I also know that you don't want that as much as you thought you did and that you share my feelings completely. Most of all I know that you want to be free of all obligations that have been holding you back," he declared, staring me straight in the eyes as he spoke. How could anyone be that certain about something like this when I couldn't even be certain where I would be tomorrow? Cedric made everything seem alright and unavoidable. "I want to be the guy who you're not ashamed to be with."

I shut my eyes for a moment as I began to worry my lip with my teeth as Cedric delicately reached a hand up to caress my cheek. His touch felt so soothing and secure that I wanted to fall into it forever. I lifted one of my hands up to lie across the back of his like I'd done in the kitchen a few weeks ago. I wanted him to be that guy too.

He was everything that I'd always thought I'd want. He was charming, confident, and clever. He was old enough where we'd share the same maturity, but not too old as to be a topic of gossip. The best part, though, was how much he seemed to understand me. He understood my dilemma with Ron, but he didn't hold my reasoning against me. Cedric held back, only pushing slightly, until I could finally come to terms with my choice. And that's what I had done.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly, his eyes bright with his knowledge of what had gone on in my head. He was really able to read me like an open book when he put his mind to it.

"Yes," I nodded just the slightest of bits.

Then his lips were on mine, hot and demanding. I was torn between a sigh of relief and a moan at how wonderful it all felt. It was so natural, like we'd already shared kisses millions of times as opposed to this being our first ever together. Any last remaining threads of worry over Ron disappeared the moment Cedric leaned in closer to me, pushing himself off of the couch just enough to press his chest firmly against my own. One of his hands slid up to cup the back of my neck while the other dropped down to wrap around my torso and draw me closer. All while our lips continued to press against each other passionately.

I'd been kissed plenty of times before between Ron and my almost relationship with Victor Krum in my Fourth Year; however, it wasn't like this. None of those kisses had been this consuming and so easy to get lost in. With Cedric it was easy to get caught up. So much so that I didn't even realize when my hands tugged the back of his shirt up enough so that they could splay across his back and feel the movement of his muscles as he moved against me delightfully.

"Hermione," Cedric whispered against my neck when he drew back from our kiss after air seemed impossible to deny any longer. His lips ran across my pulse point, causing a shiver to run through me. His breath tickled me and caused me to smile as I held onto him, resting my cheek against the side of his head as he continued to hold me against him like he wouldn't let go now that he'd finally broken through my false pretense.

"Hermione?"

I looked up at Cedric to meet his wide-eyes which conveyed the trouble that we were in for now. That hadn't been his voice.

"Theo!" I sputtered, shocked to look sideways toward the doorway of the common room and find the boy who had become so very close to me standing there. Cedric was leaning away from me now, both of us trying to look decent while still holding onto each other just slightly. "No, it's not-"

"What it looks like?" Theo finished, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head to the side as he asked. His eyes seemed to flash like lightening on the Mediterranean Sea as he took a step closer and observed the situation intently. "Really? Somehow I doubt you can just fake _that_."

I stood up, smoothing down the side of my shirt beneath my robes where Cedric must have ran a hand over me. I felt myself blanch at what to say. What was there possibly to say in such a situation? Theo was one of my best friends now and he cared about me. I felt like I had let him down as I tried desperately to not cower away from his accusing gaze.

"So, you and Weasley are trying to put some more fire into the relationship by adding more players into the mix?" Theo asked mockingly with a scowl on his face. "Too bad he's not here with you guys now. I'll have to remind him to put into writing that you both can't start without him."

I couldn't help but flinch.

"Theo . . ." I started, but stopped after figuring out that I didn't know what else to add.

"I can't believe I thought you were any better than the rest of them," he continued as if I'd never begun to say anything at all. "Is that what happened to you too, Diggory?"

"Excuse me?" Cedric asked after pausing for a moment as if to ponder whether or not Theo actually wanted a reply. Cedric was standing directly behind me and out of the corner of my eyes I saw the protective glint in his eyes as he watched the exchange. He didn't want me to take the fall for this and he especially didn't want me to get hurt in the process.

"She's got that angelic bookworm thing going for her, doesn't she? Did you fall for it too?" Theo elaborated, chuckling without humor.

Cedric didn't answer that question. He merely crossed his arms and fixed Theo with a hard glare, "Watch it, Nott."

Theo returned his cold gaze to me. "Your boyfriend is outside looking for you. He got worried when you weren't back quick enough with whatever you needed for your study session with him. I told him I'd see if you were asleep and then send you out to see him. I knew you probably just had your hands tied. I didn't know that I would be so very _right_."

"Look, Theo," I said, wincing at the idea of Ron waiting outside for me while I snogged another boy just beyond the portrait hole. "I didn't plan this. I'll tell Ron when the time is right. I can't be with him anymore."

"Tell him soon or I will," Theo bit out with finality just before turning around and exiting the common room again. His footfalls seemed to echo in my mind with resounding clarity of the mistake I had made. Yet, Cedric didn't feel like a mistake to me. What we had done had felt too good for it to be a mistake.

"I should probably wait here for a few minutes until you can gather Weasley up and head back to the library. Nott isn't going to say anything to him today," Cedric said, stepping forward the moment that Theo left in order to wrap his arms around my waist and draw me backwards and against him reassuringly. "It'll all work out, Granger. Everything will be perfect soon enough."

"I hope so," I whispered, closing my eyes for a few long seconds just to bask in the knowledge of what I'd done. I'd made a choice at last and now I'd have to deal with it.

* * *

**AN: Okay, I know. I really stink at getting updates in when I say I will. I put an honest effort into the attempt, though. And you should all know now that I hate it when I don't hold up my end of a promise. Anyway, what did you think of it? The Dr. Suess quote at the beginning of the chapter was something I just happened upon and fell in love with. It's a little too cute for the way the chapter went, but I still couldn't stop myself from using it. :D Please remember to reveiw!**


	7. Heart

"_Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest __reaches of which we are capable_."  
-Leo Rosten

My heart was pounding heavily against my ribcage and my throat had gone dry moments before when I had given Cedric's hand one final squeeze before heading toward the portrait hole. It made me so frustrated with myself to think of the mess I had somehow gotten into of my own accord. There was no running from anything now, though, and despite my anxiety about telling Ron everything, I still felt overwhelmingly relieved. It really was about time that I stopped being someone that I didn't want to be.

"Here she is," I heard Theo say, his eyes communicating something else entirely than his smile. "I told you she was just overworking herself and took an impromptu break."

"Bloody hell, Hermione," Ron said, smiling genuinely as I took a step towards him without another glance at Theo. I really hated that I had ruined our friendship and was about ruin me and Ron's as well. "You sure know how to scare a bloke."

"I'm sorry," I murmured while trying to hide my nerves, "It won't happen again."

"Promises, promises," Theo chuckled, Ron's nod of agreement telling me the he hadn't heard the hidden contempt at all. "I'll leave you two alone, though. Bye."

Why did that simple word sound so finalizing?

"Nice guy, that one," Ron said, motioning with his thumb in the direction Theo had just gone off in. "Sorry I was such an arse about your relationship with him. I get it now."

I bit my lower lip as a wave of misery coursed through me. It figured that the moment before I ended our friendship and romantic involvement Ron would finally become the understanding boy I had always wanted him to be. I loathed him for being so . . . him.

"Look, Ron-"

"We should be getting back to the library," he interrupted, picking up my hand before gently tugging me in the direction which he wanted to go, "Harry will be waiting."

"No, I've got-"

"What's the matter?" he asked, reaching a hand out to cup my cheek in his palm as he once again didn't let me finish.

"Stop it," I whispered harshly, shaking my head in frustration against his soft gestures. "Let me speak."

Ron instantly dropped his hold on me, his arms resting at his sides. Worry entered his eyes as he simply stared. His eyebrows furrowed as his lips turned down in a frown. I guess I deserved this confrontation after what I'd done, but it still didn't make it any easier to accept.

"I've got something to tell you," I said after taking a long, shaky breath in. It was about time that I gathered up some courage in honor of my house. "And you're not going to like it."

"Are you alright?" he asked, the concern etched in his tone making me cringe to myself.

"No, I'm not," I sighed, running a quivering hand over my forehead to push back my hair. "Not at all. I'm so sorry."

"Hermione, whatever it is-"

"It _won't_ be okay, Ron," I interrupted, fixing him with a stare full with sorrow and regret. The words were harder to say aloud than they had been to even admit to myself. "I cheated on you."

The silence that fell then was enough to make anyone feel awkward. I wanted to get the inevitable over with as soon as possible; yet, he seemed to be at a loss for words. Understandably so judging by the absolute pain which flickered disbelievingly across his face. It was enough to have me swiping at my own eyes. I wished I had done what Cedric had said and gotten Ron away from the common room before this talk. Now, however, I had to break one boy's heart while the other one listened on from just beyond a portrait. If only I hadn't let my emotions get the best of me.

"You'd better be joking," Ron muttered darkly at last while his eyes flashed in anger.

"I'm so sorry," I blurted out in desperation, taking a step toward him in my need to provide some form of comfort.

He jerked his arm roughly out of my grasp the moment my hand had made contact with his skin. "Who?"

The difference between him just a minute ago and him now was horrifying. He looked as if he wasn't a far distance away from murder and his body was trembling as his mixed emotions took over. Ron's simple question had me stumbling in an effort to reply. I actually felt frightened of him for the first time in my life despite my attempt to seem strong.

He almost seemed to growl in response to my weak mumblings. "_Who_ is he?" His voice was deep and at one point seemed to get caught in the back of his throat. My body seemed too heavy beneath the weight of his fury and pain.

"I can't," I tried to get out, tried to tell him I didn't think it wise that he know and find out while in this state of mind. My head started to pound achingly as he took a menacing step toward me causing a gasp of fright to escape my lips. I'd been in tons of fights with him before, but never had he seemed so very livid. Right now I was breaking his heart.

Ron continued toward me, making me take a step back in my heart wrenching fear. He seemed blinded by his rage, _so_ blinded that I didn't think I'd be surprised by any irrational actions on his part. I would deserve the worst after how I'd completely betrayed his trust in me. I still trembled when he reached out to grab me by my shoulders and give me a shake, despite my reluctant acceptance.

"Tell me!" he exclaimed, his voice echoing off of the walls around us as he breathed ruggedly into my face.

My eyes shut as if falling into the pain that he dealt out. His fingers dug into my skin, without a doubt leaving a few bruises. My entire body ached as if I'd been hit with a Bludger, before Ron suddenly released his rash hold on me. I opened my eyes to watch as he righted himself against the wall to our left, making it obvious that he hadn't released me of his own accord.

I was just about to look over my shoulder in surprise when I felt a strong, familiar arm wrap around my waist. It drew me backwards just as Cedric placed himself between me and Ron. His hand on my hip calmed me despite my anxiety over Ron's inevitable reaction.

"Diggory?" Ron asked, a humorless laugh escaping him as he took in the scene. It definitely hadn't taken very long for his face to darken in realization. "You've got to be bloody kidding me."

"You need to go back to your common room and cool down," Cedric said, his eyes glinting angrily even while his voice was gently rationalizing. "You're not thinking straight and it's scaring her."

Ron clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes. "I don't _need_ to do a bloody thing except kill you."

"Ron, please," I begged, my heart tearing at the tone of his voice. I hadn't wanted this to happen this way. How did this happen this way? "I'm sorry. Don't take it out on him."

Cedric's hand tightened its hold on me when Ron snorted in disgust. "Yes, because your pointless apologies mean a fuck right now."

I flinched at the curse.

"C'mon, Weasley, we'll discuss this when you've calmed down a bit," Cedric said, his voice sending a tangible warning.

"I can't believe you're the one she's been screwing behind my back," Ron spat, too far gone to listen now. "You, the faithful Hufflepuff bastard."

"No, it wasn't like that," I said, taking a step forward as I shook my head, only to be stopped by Cedric's arm.

"Pathetic," Ron growled, eyeing me with a sneer. "Was the shag worth her inability to shut the hell up?"

"Watch it," Cedric threatened, his body becoming rigid and I knew it was taking all of his restraint to not act on his anger at Ron's words.

"Follow your own advice with her," Ron continued, "She's a good lay, but not worth another thought otherwise. Heartless bitch can't even manage to pull the stick out of her arse, never mind care for someone other than herself."

At first I was too absorbed in the cruelty of his words to realize what had happened. My eyes came back into focus on the scene in front of me, however, when the sound of flesh hitting flesh resounded through the corridor. I couldn't even think of what to do as I watched feebly as Cedric's fist connected with Ron's face once again.

"Stop it, please!" I cried out, my voice cracking in misery and panic over their safety. Cedric froze for a brief second, long enough to meet my eyes which were filled with tears. Ron, though, used Cedric's diverted attention to punch him in the jaw. My words were hopeless as they continued to fight.

I had just remembered the wand residing in the inside pocket of my robe when two figures came running from the end of the corridor. My throat stung due to the tears that had made their way down my cheeks. I felt completely pathetic and insignificant as Theo and Harry paused for a moment to take in the scene before each darted forward and grabbed one of the beaten men and tore them away from each other.

"Let go of me," Ron gritted out, jerking in Harry's hold as he lunged forward toward Cedric once again.

Cedric pushed against Theo one last time before looking over at me then relenting and allowing himself to be dragged further backwards. Theo seemed to recognize that Cedric wasn't about to act again, as he gave him a final push before placing his hand on his chest with a warning glance.

Harry, on the other hand, continued to struggle with Ron. "Calm down, mate," he attempted to soothe, in the dark as to the reasoning behind the fight judging by his bewildered expression.

"They've been fucking each other behind my back," Ron moaned, his body suddenly sagging against Harry and his voice filled to the brim with nothing but despair. "She cheated on me."

Harry's innocent green eyes widened behind the round rims of his glasses. He turned his gaze onto me as if begging me to deny it. I knew he would believe me if I did. His trust was unbelievable. One glance at my expression, though, had him shutting his eyes in incredulity. He was just one of many who had always thought Ron and I would be together forever.

"We haven't," I said, urging Harry and Ron to understand if only a tiny bit. "We've kissed, but nothing more."

"I should get him to the Hospital Wing," Harry sighed, ignoring me completely while drawing my eyes to the black eye that was rapidly darkening on Ron's face along with his bloody nose and split lip. I winced at Harry's scowl and watched powerlessly as he slung Ron's arm over his shoulders before dragging him down the corridor.

"I'm off as well," Theo said without meeting my eyes. He slid his hands into the front pockets of his robes before taking off slowly in the direction Harry and Ron had gone. I whispered a quiet thank you, which he didn't even spare me a glance for. I was hoping he'd at least look and see how grateful I was for him. It was so amazing that he had obviously went to go fetch Harry to help when he'd figured out that my argument with Ron may get out of hand. And he did it just after I had obviously really hurt him. The moment he disappeared down the corner I felt a sob catch in my throat.

It felt strange for it all to be over. Well, the initial blow at least. The silence seemed so loud, like the quiet following a huge rainstorm. No more screaming, cries, moans, fists flying. All that was left was shock at the events that had come to pass. I felt exhausted and completely confused at what was to happen now.

"Granger?" Cedric whispered all of a sudden, reminding me of his presence only a small distance behind me. He hadn't moved since Theo had deposited him there.

I quickly spun around to meet his concerned gray eyes with my own, which I knew reflected my sadness. His face didn't look much better off than Ron's had and I immediately moved toward him to run a finger gently over his bruised lower lip as he winced and reached up to swipe a drop of blood from his nose.

"I shouldn't have lost it like that," he said on a sigh, lifting a hand up to caress the side of my face as if I was a fragile piece of glass. Unlike when Ron had done the same thing, I leaned into the touch. I wanted his comfort more than anything. "I knew it was nothing but words. It was understandable since he was so furious and hurt."

I blinked up at him, wiping one last tear from my eyes while willing myself to just put the fight behind me for the day. I just wanted to calm down and deal with it tomorrow.

"I couldn't listen to him go on about you like that any longer," he finished, shrugging as he dropped his hand from my cheek only to run both hands up my arms and skim over my shoulders. When I winced, he grabbed me by my hand and carefully ushered me over to the common room. As soon as I had said the password he was leading me inside and to the nearest couch.

"Let me see your shoulders," Cedric whispered, kneeling down in front of me as I sat up straight on the comfortable pillows. His expression was so filled with worry that I felt an overwhelming desire to assure him that I was alright. The fact that he cared so deeply made my cheeks heat up.

Glancing away from him, I slowly reached up to slip my robe off of my shoulders. My hands were trembling slightly as I placed my fingers on the neck of my jumper and yanked gently on it sideways while shrugging my right shoulder upwards so that it could be exposed. I chanced a peek at Cedric when I heard a soft curse escape him. His eyes seemed to have darkened in anger as he took in the irritated flesh there.

I dropped my gaze to the shoulder and winced as I took in the harsh bruises that marred my pale skin. The shape of the dark bluish-purple area was easily a handprint. The mark where Ron's fingers had dug into me looked the worst. If I hadn't had my attention elsewhere just as I had gotten them I knew I would have been in much more pain.

"I'm going to kill him," Cedric said, his voice rough as he met my eyes.

I shook my head with a reassuring smile. "I think enough damage has been done already."

Cedric sighed before surrendering. He leaned forward, though; enough to softly kiss my shoulder. The warmth of his lips made me shiver. His lips parted just the slightest of bits as he released a breath; the air tickling my skin pleasurably and causing gooseflesh to erupt all up my arms. My eyes shut as I took in the sensations that he so easily stirred up inside of me. When he took a breath in, my eyes opened again as I tried not to show how much he was able to effect me. Cedric looked up to meet my gaze without removing his lips from my skin. A subtle, knowing gleam entered his eyes as his lips quirked upwards in a smirk.

"You're dangerous," I muttered, raising my eyebrows at him as a chuckle reverberated from his chest.

He sat up straight again after one last caress with his mouth. "You shouldn't be talking. If _I'm_ dangerous than _you're_ positively deadly," he grinned. My mind seemed to sharpen once more as he pulled away, drawing my attention to his bruised lower lip and the few cuts that he had on his eyebrows and nose. I couldn't stand the fact that he had gotten hurt because of me. Even his knuckles were cut.

"Sit here for a second," I explained, carefully maneuvering around him before pushing him into the place I had previously occupied when he turned around to look at me in confusion. "I'm going to get something to clean your cuts with."

"There is this thing called magic that I hear works decently well, Granger," Cedric joked, causing me to roll my eyes despite the fact that he couldn't see it while I was digging under my sink in the bathroom off of my bedroom.

"I'm not all that remarkable at cleaning charms," I admitted reluctantly, grabbing a disinfectant and some cotton balls before going back into the main room where he had laid himself out and was now staring up at the ceiling. "And you can't perform anything on yourself. That's dangerous."

"I'm a big boy now," Cedric said, looking up at me with a grin while gesturing to himself with his hands.

I chose to ignore that so my mind wouldn't wander to just how much he had grown over the years.

"I really should go get you a balm to put on your shoulders," he continued, moving to get up just as I kneeled down on the floor next to him. I instantly placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back down. I needed to assure myself that _he_ was perfectly fine before I did anything about my stupid bruises. They hurt, but at least they weren't slightly bleeding like a few of his cuts were.

"After this," I stated simply.

"You're a tough woman to ignore," Cedric said teasingly as I placed some of the disinfectant on a cotton ball before gently dabbing the cut across his eyebrow with it. He immediately grimaced and jerked backwards, all signs of laughter gone as he blinked painfully and looked up at me as if I had wronged him somehow.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he exclaimed, moving a hand up to cover the cut. I immediately reached forward to stop him from touching his face.

"You're being silly," I said, pushing on the hand until he gave up and let it fall back onto the couch. "I'm sorry that it stings a bit, but it cleans, in my opinion, even better than magic."

He didn't respond, shifting on the couch a bit while probably trying to get his body to settle down. It was funny how he had gone through so much in the war like everyone else had, yet he still cringed away from a tiny sting. Despite myself I laughed, earning a brief glare as I leaned forward and once again applied the cotton ball to his cuts. He loosened up after a few minutes, the pain obviously dulling once he got used to it. My body warmed at how innocent he looked as he shut his eyes and let me work. I wasn't used to seeing him with his guard down. He was so passionate about everything around him that seeing him relaxed was new to me. I liked it, though. A lot.

"Finished?" he asked, his eyes still shut while I turned around and set the disinfectant and used cotton balls on the coffee table behind me after cleaning his knuckles. He had one leg resting on the couch while his other one hung off the side of it with his foot laying flat on the floor. He was really much too tall for the position to be all that comfortable.

"You're cured," I answered, glancing him over and watching as he tipped his head towards the sound of my voice without looking. I bent down to dig through my robes, which I'd let fall to the floor earlier, in search of my wand. He didn't move as I performed the proper charms to close all of his cuts, and I knew that he was most likely relieved now that he knew for a fact that I wasn't about to pull out a Muggle needle and just dig in. I would need a potion or balm to heal his bruises, but we could do that when he got it for my shoulders. If only we could both just have gone to the Hospital Wing without dealing with the repercussions with Ron there.

"Thank you," Cedric murmured, sighing softly as he shifted on the couch a bit more. He looked a second away from sleep.

I gave in to my sudden desire to touch him again and reached a tentative finger out to trace the shape of his jaw, watching all signs of movement in fascination as he swallowed. "You're welcome," I whispered, internally scolded myself at how breathless I sounded. For a moment, while I observed him, I felt terrified at how easy he made it to fall for him. I was right when I'd said he was dangerous. He was rapidly consuming me, and as someone who just minutes before had lost her boyfriend, I felt guilty for feeling this way about him. Though, in my defense, he'd been taking over my thoughts gradually since the start of term. It was just a matter of finally admitting it to myself.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, making me jump as I realized I had leaned in closer to him as I stroked the side of his face. The intensity of his eyes now that they were open made my heart stop for a second before picking up in overdrive. He would be the death of me.

"Nothing of importance," I smiled, attempting to shrug off the lie.

He raised his eyebrows at me. "There you go again."

"What?" I laughed in surprise, tilting my head at him as I rested the side of my face in my hand after propping my elbow up on his leg.

"You _can_ be completely honest with me, you know," Cedric said, pushing himself up onto his elbows so that he could look at me directly. "I'm not about to go lying to _you _after all of this. I want this to work out and I'm willing to fight to keep you now that I have you, even if the biggest obstacle ends up being your own morals."

"I was thinking," I began, biting my lip nervously before continuing, "Of how much you scare me."

"I scare you?" he asked with a frown.

"Not you, actually, so much as my feelings for you," I corrected. "We barely know each other."

"I _want _to know you, though," Cedric said, reaching out to tug on my wrist before pulling me towards him. It felt natural as I moved into his arms, laying down across his body and resting my chin against his shoulder as he twirled one of my curls around his finger.

"I want to know you, too," I sighed, kissing his jaw before smiling tenderly as he turned his head and caught my lips in a kiss that, unlike our first, was slow and savoring. One of his hands slid into my hair, holding me against him, as the other slid across my stomach and then beneath the back of my jumper to splay across the small of my back. His touch made me shudder as I opened my mouth to breathe him in. I knew it was wrong after everything that had happened with Ron, and I knew it wouldn't take long before I'd pull away due to my desire to take things slowly. Either way, though, I planned on learning a lot more about the man that had my heart in his hands. And I was willing to do anything to keep his in mine, as well. Even if we had to go through the fires of hell together for me to do it.

* * *

**AN: The inevitable confrontation at last! What did you think? I was out of my comfort zone with this one, what with there turning out to be so much dialogue. I hope you liked it, though. Be sure to review!**


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